“Elaine, I’m sorry for my mood.” He held out his hand. “Will you please dance with me?”
His brown eyes implored. If she stared at him and blurred her vision a little, he almost looked like Lloyd. She hated herself for noting the similarities. Connor didn’t deserve to be compared to her dead husband.
Get a grip. She took a bracing breath. “I’d love to dance with you.”
He exhaled in apparent relief and led her onto the floor.
Lex transitioned into a new song. “Love Hurts” by Nazareth.
Elaine cursed silently.So help me, God, I am never going to one of Lex’s gigs ever again.
Connor swung her into his arms. “I’ve been an ass tonight.”
“No, you haven’t.”
“I’d like to explain.”
“There’s nothing to explain, Connor. I knew this evening would be emotional for me, but I realize it’s hard for everyone else as well.”
“It’s not that. I mean I miss Lloyd, but—”
“Let’s not talk about Lloyd right now.” Her chest hurt.Traitor. “I’m so tired of talking about Lloyd.”
He frowned. “Of course. What would you like to talk about?”
“I don’t know. I don’t care. How about the weather or your thoughts on global warming? Or maybe we should resume the conversation about your ex-girlfriends? Yeah, why don’t we talk about them?”
When had that crazy shrill tone slipped into her voice?
“Maybe the weather would be safer.”
“Oh, come on, Connor. Weather’s boring, but you lead a very exciting life. You know, with Marcelle…and Mary and Darlene and Becky and Nicole and—”
“We get the picture. You don’t need to list any others.”
“But it’s fascinating. If I’m not mistaken, I think you’ve dated one woman for every letter of the alphabet at least once. In fact, wasn’t that one of your sexual challenges? I seem to recall you and Lloyd joking about it.”
“That’s enough, Elaine.”
Her fingernails dug into his shoulders. “But I’m just getting started.”
“Could we not talk about this please?”
“Why not?”
He stopped moving. “Because I don’t want to talk about other women. I’m here with you, and I’m not that man anymore. Do you understand?”
Whoa. She’d done it again. She’d put her foot in her mouth big time. Why did she keep pushing Connor? More to the point, why did she keep pushing him away? She was fucked up on so many levels. “Okay. I’m sorry.”
He shook his head. “No, I’m sorry. It’s just…things have changed, Elaine. I want different things now. The past few months have been so fucking hard. I lost my best friend, and when you took off to Alaska, I felt like I lost another one. Then you waltz back into my life, and it’s like everything has gone back to how it was before. Only it’s not. I feel like I’m living in this bizarre world where nothing makes sense and yet everything makes sense at the same time.” He wiped a hand over his mouth. “I’m standing here on a dance floor with the prettiest girl in the world on my arm. And I don’t know what to do because I want so badly to kiss you but I’m afraid of scaring you away again.”
Oh God. He felt it too. Elaine’s heart hammered.
Maybe, if they were both dealing with the same emotions, they could get through this. Maybe her friends were right and Connor had come into her life for a reason.
Then again, perhaps they were both off their rockers.
“And the worst part of all,” he continued, his voice rising, “is knowing Lloyd wants me to kiss you! What kind of fucked-up person dreams up that kind of shit?”
