“I’m devoted to my men. I just think it’s a shame a hunky bear like Josh is all alone, that’s all,” countered Suzan.
Nina wagged her finger. “Lady, you know too much. You make me nervous.”
“Lady.” Elaine didn’t realize she’d said the word until she realized the others were all staring at her.
“What do you mean?” asked Nina.
“Oh, it’s nothing. Connor’s taken to calling me ‘lady’ since I got back.”
The stares continued.
“So,” said Fleur, popping a potato chip into her mouth. “Connor and Marcelle, huh?”
Elaine shrugged.
“Marcelle’s nice,” said Gioia. “I always liked her. It’s too bad she got that job in town. It would be great to see her around the resort on a regular basis.”
“Maybe now she’ll hang around,” said Fleur, her eye on Elaine. “You know, since Elaine invited her to rekindle her ongoing booty call with Connor.”
When the conversation stopped again, Elaine blurted out, “What?”
Fleur’s eyebrow hit the sky. “Doesn’t it bother you Connor might be doing the nasty with her right now?”
“Why should it bother me? If he likes her, I’m happy for him.”
“Elaine,” implored Fleur. “Come on. Do I need to spell it out?”
“What?” This conversation was making her sweat. She could feel it, a slight trickle of perspiration under her hairline, at the back of her neck.
One of the bedroom doors creaked open. Andy appeared and trudged over to Elaine, rubbing his eyes.
“Can’t you sleep, sweet pea?”
Andy shook his head. “When’s Daddy coming home?”
“Baby, we talked about this.”
“No, not Daddy Lloyd,” he said. “Daddy Connor.”
“Oh.” Elaine’s heart bottomed out. When her hands began to shake, she sat on them to quell the tremors. One of the notions that had terrified her since Lloyd’s passing was that his kids would eventually forget him. They were so young. How could they possibly remember how he used to play with them and sing to them? Had they already begun to forget? Her hands moved up to support her head. Her chest rose and fell, and she couldn’t regulate her breaths.
Stress is the enemy. Elaine could hear Josh’s voice in her head.If you start to feel bad, talk to someone.
Would her friends judge her? Elaine couldn’t help judging herself.
“Hey, Andy.” Marci ran over to the boy. “Your mom told me you’ve set up your room again. Can you show me?” She brought him back into the bedroom.
Lloyd. Connor.
Dreadful sickness raged through Elaine’s core. Bile filled her throat. She tried to force it down, but every swallow made her gag.
Not Daddy Lloyd. Daddy Connor.
She’d failed Lloyd. She hadn’t been able to keep his memory alive, even though it haunted her every moment of every day.
She raced to the bathroom. Hurling herself in front of the toilet, she clutched the cold edge. All her misery, all her worry, came forth in nasty chunks that seared the tender flesh of her throat. She wretched and wretched, hoping to spew her guilt and shame into the bowl as well.
After a couple of minutes, a gentle hand appeared at her back. It was Fleur. “Let me get you a wet washcloth.”
