Fleur grabbed a washcloth from the bathroom cabinet and drenched it in water, wringing it out. She handed it over, and Elaine washed her mouth and face, disposing of the dirty cloth in the laundry bin. It didn’t matter. Her face was a mess and her life was a mess. Lloyd was dead and Connor was probably humping Marcelle right now.
Fleur helped her into the living room and made her sit next to Suzan.
The empath rested her hand on Elaine’s. “Feel better?”
“A little.”
Suzan frowned. “Why do you feel so guilty?”
Elaine met her gaze. “You figured that out, huh?” She swallowed a couple of times but still tasted bile. “I do feel guilty. I think I’ve been…relying on Connor too much.”
“Connor doesn’t seem to mind. Are you sure that’s all that’s bothering you?” Suzan’s gaze was steady, calming.
She already knew. They probably all knew.
Oh, Lloyd. Just putting a voice to the feelings that had been plaguing her since her arrival on the island made her feel like even more of a traitor. “I’ve…I’ve…”
Fleur piped up. “You’ve got the hots for Connor.”
“Fleur!”
“Someone had to spit it out.”
“Oh God.” She hung her head.
The others raced to her side, crouching around her.
Nina reached for her hand. “It’s okay, Elaine. You can’t blame yourself for feeling this way.”
“Yeah,” concurred Charlotte. “Connor’s your best friend, but you know what they say about friendships between men and women. They’re fucked. Look at me and Bart. We tried the friendship thing. It didn’t work. I needed that man between my legs.”
Elaine groaned. “You’re not helping.”
“I get it.” Lia’s voice was quiet, her tone sad. “You feel disloyal to Lloyd.”
“I do! It hasn’t even been a year. What does that make me? What sort of woman starts noticing other men’s asses when her mate hasn’t even been in the ground a year? I’m feel like I’m cheating on my husband.”
“It’s not the same.” Gioia squeezed her hand. “Elaine, honey, your husband’s gone. If any of us could bring Lloyd back, we would do everything in our power, but we can’t. He wouldn’t want you to torture yourself. He would want you to be happy.”
If anyone understood, it was Gioia. She had lost her mate, Paul, years ago, only to discover a strange new truth about him after she’d fallen for Soren. By that time, even her young son, Gunnar, had developed a relationship with Soren. Learning Paul’s fate had thrown her entire life into upheaval. Eventually, she’d learned to carve out a new life with Soren, and now her son divided his time between the two sides of his family, happy to have both.
Only in this case, Layla and Andy didn’t have their dad anymore.
“Wait.” Fleur made a face. “If you like Connor’s ass so much, why the hell did you practically force him into a date with Marcelle?”
“Because I was hoping if I saw him with another woman, I’d forget how I feel. Connor deserves better than having to chase around a widow and her two children. He deserves a life.”
“Don’t you think it’s up to him to create his own life? What if he wants you in his life?” asked Suzan.
“Stop it.” Elaine pouted. “Stop making sense, all of you. This is ridiculous. I know what this is. I’m just lonely and confused, but I have no right to feel that way.”
Marci walked back into the living room. “I heard some of what you guys were saying.” The lynx woman knelt next to Elaine. “If roles were reversed, and you’d died, would you want Lloyd to pine for you forever?”
“No, of course not. But so soon?”
“Sometimes,” said Suzan, “the universe has it all planned out for us. People come into our lives for a reason, and I hate to say it, but sometimes they leave for a reason too. Who are we to question our hearts?”
“If I died,” declared Charlotte, taking a gulp of cranberry juice, “I’d want Bart to pine for me for at least five years. No. Make it ten.”
