I looked at him. “Why?”
He shook his head. “This is stupid. But I’m going to be honest.” I nodded for him to continue. “Whenever someone finds out about Rowan…” He scratched the back of his head. “They try to use me to get closer to him.”
I nodded. “Makes sense.” He snapped his face to me, but I just laughed. “I said it makes sense, not that someone should do it.” I sighed as I did my seatbelt. “People tend to be at least a little selfish by trait. The worse I find the person, the more selfish they are.” I shrugged. “But I knew Rowan before I met you, and if I needed to reach him or get close, I could do that all by myself. I don’t need you to help me.” He nodded and then pulled away, finally heading back to my pack.
“You are right. It’s just a weird feeling.” He cut his eyes to me. “Why are you so nice to me, then?” He sighed.
I laughed. “Because you are my friend.”
“It’s not because I’m a Gamma from the Royal Pack?”
I snorted. “I used that because Nina wants to be close to Rowan. Not because it actually matters.” He lifted his eyebrow, and I snorted. “Let me explain. I was raised to treat everyone as a person. Not a rank. So I would have treated you the exact same whether you were an Alpha, Gamma, or unranked.”
He thought about it for a minute and then nodded. “You’re right.” He was quiet for a minute. “The box is full of letters, orthings that were delivered to you I couldn’t give you.” He pointed to the box between my legs. “The one on top was the very last one.”
I looked down at the envelope. “When was it delivered?”
He sighed. “The morning of your graduation. Right before you came down.” He gripped the wheel tighter. “I’m sorry Amy.”
“Have you read any of these?” I grabbed the letter and twirled it in my hands.
He shook his head. “No, but I have a feeling I know exactly what’s in that letter.” He glanced at me and all I could see was his puppy dog eyes filled with remorse. “I’m sorry.”
The look and his words filled me with dread. I slid my finger under the glue and opened the letter that had only my name written on it. I slipped it out and unfolded it.
Amy,
Goddess only knows why you haven’t called or texted me. I can only assume you are still mad at me and I get it. I left you in heat, but I swear it, I didn’t want to. I wish I stayed, but I knew if I did, eventually you would have hated me. I couldn’t live if you hated me. I want our first time together to be something spectacular. And I want you to be sober enough to make the decision with me. No regrets.
Today is going to be bad, and I need you to know what is coming. Your father and I have been working on this plan for over a year, and now it’s time. It’s going to be fucking painful for you, but I swear your dad came up with everything.
Remember, I love you and only you.
Rowan
Chapter Three
“What the fuck…” I felt like my world was crashing down on me. My head was full of his words and I was confused as to how we even got here. I turned to face Sterling, and he was clearly avoiding my gaze. “Sterling.”
He looked over at me finally, and I could see the truth behind his eyes. “Yeah?”
“Have you read any of these?” As I dropped the letter, my gaze followed as it landed in the box between my feet. The box that held all of Rowan's words to me. I counted over fifty letters…maybe more. “How long has he been sending these?”
Sterling closed his eyes for a second, like he was trying to come up with an answer that wouldn’t break me. His hand tightened on the steering wheel. “I haven’t read anything that was sent to you.” He swallowed. “They were meant for your eyes only, andeven if we couldn’t give them to you, we weren’t going to invade yours and Rowan’s privacy.”
I felt my eyes tighten. “But?”
He sighed. “But I saw him every time he dropped off the letters. He was becoming more and more desperate for you to answer.” He looked like he might get sick. “I wanted to tell him that your silence was because you were being kept in the dark about them, but I couldn’t.”
I settled a little. I could hear the pain in his voice. “You’re feeling guilty?” I asked, but I already knew the answer.
He nodded. “Goddess yes.” He glanced at me. “You don’t understand.” His hands flexed, and I could tell he was becoming frustrated.
“Then explain it to me because I’m pretty lost right now.” I looked down at the letters. “I don’t even know why or when they started. And by the looks of it, he sent quite a few.” I bent down and tried to count them. “How many are even here?”
I heard Sterling swallow again. “Over seventy.”
I snapped up. “What?”
