What?Nix looked between us.What does that mean?
She is worried that what she is about to read will change everything for her, but change nothing about the outcome.Nix still looked confused. Megan sighed.What if what’s in these letters makes her fall in love with Rowan?
Then we get to be with Rowan and Erubus.
Megan nodded.Okay, but what if we can’t?
What?Nix sat down, trying to understand.That makes no sense.
Megan nodded.What if you find your mate? Or he finds his, and it’s not us? What if Amy reads these letters, and it changes absolutely nothing as she still wants nothing to do with them…then what?
Nix sunk to the ground. I could see she was sad, but she kept it in.Then we do exactly as we said. We stay out of it and support her like she did us. And we mate whoever she wants to mate.The words hurt my heart to hear, but it settled me a little.
We will figure it all out together.I finished the steps and crawled into my bed. The softness of the bed calling to me to snuggle in and sleep. I was still tired from being captive, but instead of pulling the covers up, I crawled across it and grabbed the box. I sat against the headboard and then I dumped the letters into the bed.
“First things first,” I muttered to myself as I pulled letters and started to organize them by number.
What are you doing?Nix pushed closer to the barrier.
“I’m organizing them so I know what order they came in.”
Why do you need to read them in order?Megan asked.It’s all the same information, right?
“Yeah. It is, but I want to know what order they come in.”
But why?Nix asked again.It won’t change anything.
“No. But it will give me a timeline.” I sighed as I finished the stack. “I’ll be able to see what he sent and when.”
And what happened around the same time?Nix asked.
“Exactly.” I grabbed the first letter. “It will show me if it is all just a game to him…”
Or if he is sincere.Megan finished, and I just nodded.
I took a deep breath before I opened the first letter, and I could barely make out the words I was shaking so hard. Nix and Meganboth pushed forward, joining with me to calm myself. Nix’s voice whispered through my head. We are in this together.
Megan’s soft voice calmed my pounding heart.We are with you. No matter what happens.I nodded again. I closed my eyes and took a few calming breaths and then I held the letter steadier, and began to read.
Amy,
What can I say that will take the pain away? Absolutely nothing. I know I ripped your heart out when I left you there. You were begging me to help you, ease your burning need, and I wish to the goddess that I was a stronger man. But I am weak.
I knew that if I helped you today that I wouldn’t have been able to stop. Your kiss alone drives me up the wall, and if I had the chance to get my lips on your body, I would have broken both of our vows to wait for our mates. I crave you like chocolate. Like air. I need to kiss your lips to touch your skin. And I knew that if I allowed myself to cross that last step…if I had taken you into my arms…I would not have had the strength in me to let you go.
I need you to know that I did not turn away from you because I did not want you. But because I knew that you would have resented me. If not today, tomorrow. Or maybe years from now if you ever found your true mate, and it wasn’t me. You would’ve resented me for taking that gift away from you.
I would not, could not, survive if you ended up hating me. I think my soul would cleave in half.
My wolf and I are at an impasse. He has become entranced by a she-wolf that runs through the woods by the university, but I am so wrapped up in you. If it was just me, alone in my body, I would have chosen you the first day I saw you in class.
You took my breath away. You were so confident. So funny. I was gone before class was over. But I tried to hold back because I was your teacher. But even I failed at that.
Your soul calls to mine. If only our wolves felt the same way.
Please understand.
Rowan.
