I swallowed past the lump in my throat. “Even have him at important points, like your mating ceremony. Or to meet his grandchild.”
Carl’s eye snapped to mine. “Swear it.” I could see the pleading in his eyes. This was something he could never experience without me, but now it was an option. One he never had. “Please, swear it to be true. That I can come back for her.”
“I swear it.” I rubbed my hand against his cheek. “I will make sure you are there for everything.” He shuddered and his breathing became a rattle.
“But I want him with me every day.” Carly’s voice was a whisper as she laid back down next to him and he hugged her to his chest.
“I know, baby.” My answer wavered as my vision blurred. I laid my other hand on her head, and I looked up at my grandma. “I’m not ready.”
She smiled. “Just like he said. Get ready, my love.” She kissed me again. Then she turned to Erubus. “And you…get your headout of your ass. And think for yourself. You are a grown ass man. Grow some balls. Your father would be ashamed of you.” He flinched at her words, and she softened. “You’re a good boy.” She looked at me and she leaned into me. “Listen to him when the time comes. You’re allowed to be mad. You’re allowed to throw down, punch out, and be viciously pissed. But once you calm yourself, listen to the boy. He has his reasons.” I stared up at her, and her eyes furrowed. “Give me your word, love.”
“I will. I promise.” She nodded and then she was gone. I looked at Erubus, and I watched as he decided. He came closer to me.
“We have kept too many secrets from each other.” His words were filled with hurt, but he was right, so I just nodded. He closed his eyes. “Remember your promise.”
“What are you even talking about?” But before Erubus answered, Carl started to cough again. I turned back to the two in my lap. Carly pulled away and started to cry.
“Don’t leave me, daddy. Please. I promise to be a good girl. I’ll eat my veggies and go to bed when you tell me. Just stay.” She wrapped her arms around Carl, but was staring at me.
Then he echoed Erubus’s words. “Remember your promise.” His breathing slowed and then stopped.
“Daddy.” Carly pulled back, but his eyes were fixed on mine. The light behind them faded and then, in the fading light, his heart stopped beating. “Daddy! No daddy, come back.” His arms slipped from around Carly, and she struggled to keep his arms wrapped around her. “Come back.”
I heard a curse, and then a soft whisper. “I’m going to fucking kill him.” From Toya. But Carl was gone. Five sets of knees hit the ground as I threw back my head and released my mourning howl. My friends all joined, and then a tiny voice joined ours. We sang to the rising moon about the man, the father we just lost. Then Carly was in my arms, sobbing.
“It’s okay pup. I got you.” I whispered into her hair, as I looked back at my friends. My people. Only to find a set of familiar eyes staring back at me.
“Let me explain.” He pleaded. But I just stood, rage burning in my belly. I turned, Carly clutched to my chest as I walked back to the cabin, my friends trailing behind me.
Leaving Rowan alone with Carl’s body.
Chapter Six
“Amy…” Toya followed me into the house, but Carly pulled her head up.
She pointed at the wall beside the door. “Daddy said your friends would need robes, so we have them up and waiting for them.” Her little voice was barely above a whisper as I kept walking. They would figure it out.
I headed directly upstairs. I wasn’t exactly sure where I was going, but I knew I didn’t want to deal with that man right this second. Anyone really. But I was in charge of this little girl now, and she needed me. I hit the landing and stared into each room. There were so many bedrooms up here. “What the hell.”
“Daddy said we would need the rooms until everything settled down. Your friends are going to be here with us until you find your way.” Until I find my way. My stomach clenched. Carl sawall of this. He knew exactly how he was going to die and he prepared for it all, fully knowing it would never be long enough with his daughter.
“Which room is your bathroom?” I looked and found none in the hall.
“Daddy made bathrooms attached to my room and his…yours. The other bathroom is downstairs.” Then, as if all that was too much, she started crying again. Her new reality sinking in. I closed my eyes, holding her closer to my chest.
“Okay. It’s going to be okay.” I headed to her room, a bubblegum pink room with princess curtains. “Your room is beautiful. Your daddy wanted to make sure you knew exactly how much he loved you.” I looked around the room and stopped when I saw a glass box stuffed full of letters. The one on top addressed to Carly, for your seventh birthday. I felt my stomach sink. She was only six.
Her sobs got me moving again. I nudged open her bathroom door and crouched down with her still in my arms. I turned on the water, made sure the temperature was perfect, then I waited for it to fill. I added bubbles to make it a little more comforting.
“Come on, baby girl. Time for a bath.” Her sobs continued as I pulled her from my chest. I kissed her head, pulled the blood soaked night gown over her head, tossing it to the side, and helped her step into the tub. As soon as she hit the water, it turned pink, and I cursed. How had I not thought of that? I pushed on. I grabbed a cup from the tub lip and I poured cups of warm bubbly water over her curls. Her blonde hair had dried a dark rust color from the blood.
There was a knock on the door, before it swung open. Toya, freshly washed and clothed in a robe, stood in the door. “The girls are all taking a shower downstairs. We found the robes she told us about.”
I nodded as I poured more water into her hair. Then I grabbed the shampoo. I gave a tiny smile when the scent hit me, strawberry, just like I used to love.
We will go back to using it again once all of this is all said and done.Nix' spoke up for the first time since I pushed forward.I miss it.
Megan agreed, but she stayed back.Our pup needs you right now, Amy, not us.Her voice was soft, but her words struck a chord.
