“Here, let me help you,” he says, reaching for the handle on the side of the bag.
“I got it,” I snap, bending at the waist to give Shadow’s head a kiss goodbye before heading to the door.
As I walk past him, my shoulder brushes his chest, sparks singeing my skin, sending tingles down to my toes as I exit the room. I don’t stop when he calls my name or when I almost collide with Ash’s looming body hanging outside my front door. I keep myself moving because if I stop, I don’t think I can start again.
I can feel their gaze as I hobble down the stairs, my ankle stiff and crying out in pain when I step down incorrectly.
I’ll grab some icepacks for the road and ice it as we go.
Unlocking the trunk with my spare key, I struggle to get my suitcase inside, shoving it forcefully beside Roman’s until it hits the back seats.
Slamming the hatch with more hostility than needed, I see from the corner of my eye Roman’s twitch when the car shakes violently from my forcefulness.
“All right, man, thanks for staying. We won’t be too long.” I overhear Roman telling Ash as they come down the porch steps, but I don’t think Ash is listening since his eyes are glued to Sage’s upcoming vehicle.
Sage’s old, rickety truck parks in front of me, rear lighting bathing me in red beams until her engine shuts off.
“Hey, are you okay?” Sage asks once she steps out of her car, eyes concerned as she stares at me over the top of the Camaro. Her diner’s uniform blows gently with the winds of the night, displaying mile-long legs shivering without protection.
“I’m going home,” I grumble, wobbling on my feet when her delicate touch grazes my arms.
Wide, amber eyes widen under the moonlight, her lips, pink and full, mouthingno, as she shakes her head from side to side, “You can’t go back there. Not after… everything.”
I don’t respond, just shrug my shoulder while wiping away the stray tear that escapes my eye.
Sage’s body stiffens once Roman and Ash step beside me, her gaze barely glancing in their direction before pulling me into her arms. “Text me or call me. Whatever you want, just let me know you’re okay.”
I give her my word, wiping my eyes on the sleeve of my shirt as she walks away from me. Ash calls after her, but she ignores him, bounding up the steps until she reaches her door and disappears inside.
I wonder what that was about.
“Shadow loves nighttime walks. It’s too late for hers now, but tomorrow make sure you bring her out to run around on the grass and do her business in the morning. Oh! And—”
“I know, Amira. I got it… You don’t have to worry.”
But don’t I?
Nodding at his reassurance, I give Roman a momentary glance before opening the passenger door and dipping inside.
The seats are freezing, their chill seeping through the material of my leggings, stinging my skin.
I don’t use my spare to start the car, forcing myself to sit in icy silence until Roman finishes up his conversation with Ash.
I can hear their muffled whispers. The apprehension and unease lacing their tones should make me feel good, cared for, protected. But it doesn’t. Instead, I just feel angry… ornumb.
I used to make myself devoid of emotion when Gabriel allowed my body to become a toy to savage men, and I forced myself to accept the agony as I was ripped apart from the inside out.
I stopped doing that when Roman took me away. I let myselffeel,and it fucking hurts, and some days, I don’t know if I can survive the emotions that rip through me like an electric current through rippling tides, but I allow myself to feel that suffering.
But right now? With what Roman is making me do, I choose to feel nothing because at least I know I can survive that.
CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO
ROMAN
Tuesday
March 23, 2021
