I showed her it’s possible, but her mind just won’t let it be, and once her demons settle on her shoulders, there’s no stopping the storm.
It doesn’t fucking matter, though. We could fight for the rest of our lives, but as long as she’s around, I think I’ll be fine.
Amira is full of broken shards, some pieces so jagged, she slices me without even realizing it, but she’s unlike any woman I’ve met before. For starters, even through all her mangled thoughts, Amira is a fucking rock. She may break and crumble beneath my fingers, but her foundation is solid.
Untouchable.
She may never see it, but I’ll cherish her strength for life.
Amira is brilliant and quiet, and she cares about everybody who crosses her path, and fuck me… she’s so fucking sexy it drives me to my knees.
The air around her exudes nothing but insecurities. But if you stare deep enough into her brown eyes, you’ll see the little twinkle of indomitable resilience she buries for only the closest to see.
She always smells of the sweetest strawberries, and her skin burns the darkest shade of pink when I call her angel.
She’s… fuck.
Too fucking good for me.
And lord fucking knows I should let her go, move on to find someone who can treat her right and give her the never-ending patience that she deserves. But the mere thought of letting her go has my knees buckling, and I know I would never be able to do it.
Even if that’s what is best for her.
And then there’s the fact that I promised to give her time to come to terms with the idea of sex, but it’s becoming increasingly more difficult.
The last time I fucked, I was sixteen and wasted at a fucking homecoming game. Jenny, the cheerleader assigned to me, dragged us behind the bleachers and practically threw herself at me. I was too preoccupied thinking about how prior to the football game my dad just finished beating the shit out of me, to notice my pants falling and my dick in her mouth.
I took out all my pent-up aggression out on Jenny’s willing pussy, and only when I saw my cum shoot onto her red, tiny ass did I feel fucking sick to my stomach.
I didn’t want Jenny, but who I wanted, I couldn’t have. Not then, and fuck, not now either.
For years, the only person I could think about, dream about, was Amira Lupo, and she’s still the only woman to occupy the space in my head… and my fucking soul.
It twists my gut in a knot that I have these unanswered questions running through my mind. I know I wouldn’t be her first, and she wouldn’t be mine, but I’d come apart for her like no other.
What does that rosy blush look like surrounding the swells of her chest? Will it travel the length of her body until I can feel its heat in her weeping pussy? Is her hair as soft wrapped around my fist as it is when it falls flat against her back?
My hands itch to feel how tender her skin is after she’s come down from her shattering orgasms. And even though I’ve never seen Amira completely naked, I know she’s fucking glorious.
Too fucking perfect for me.
Thinking about Amira now, I know giving her more time is the right thing to do. The only thing to do. I would be a shitty fucking boyfriend if I continued to push her when she’s been through so much. But shit, I’m struggling.
I’ve heard of too many men cheating on their girls because they have no intimacy, and that will not be me, but I’m starting to wonder how long I can last with just my fist.
I’m going to be a good man, unlike my own worthless dad. I will never put my woman in that position, and I for-fucking-sure will never allow Amira to feel like I chose another woman over her.
As much as I want to fuck the shit out of her and strangle her at the same fucking time, I’m willing to do it all to make our fucked-up relationship work.
It’s a lot to work through, yet this doesn’t feel as intense as when I thought of it earlier this evening.
All I needed was fresh air and time to myself to get my thoughts in order.
The air is crisp and bitter. Pinpricks nip at my bare arms and face each time a gust of wind shoots by me. Moonlight guides my way as I walk along the side of the road. Clouds rolling across the sky, readying us for the storm coming our way.
Cars honk, and people whistle as they drive by me. I’ve had a couple of drivers pull up beside me, women willing to give me a ride wherever I need to go, but my destination isn’t worth what they’re ready to put out.
I’ve been walking for almost three hours. My feet are probably fucking bleeding at this point, and I have more mosquito bites than I can count, which are driving me insane as I claw my arms to shreds.
