For so many years, I’ve wanted this with him, and now it’s finally happening. My body doesn’t know how to handle it, and neither does my heart.
My hand shoots out to keep him there, an action that I didn’t even think about, my body reacting for me. I thread my fingers through the fine curls of his hair and latch on, needing something to anchor myself to as he feasts away on my bundle of nerves.
As he promised, it doesn’t hurt, not in a painful way. But my nerves are still on overdrive as I feel his teeth gently scrape against my clit, making my whimpers grow into moans that I can’t hold back. And I don’t want to hold them back with him. I want him to know how he makes me feel.
I’m not quiet. I don’t think I can be, not when this feels so good.
Roman’s tongue runs across my opening, up and down, swirling with precision like he already knows what my body needs. His fingers squeeze the thick meat of my thighs, and I wonder how they would feel inside me as he uses one to tease my opening while his tongue works my slit. But I don’t ask for that. I’m not ready.
His tongue moves lower, the thick muscle pumping inside of me as he moves his thumb to circle my clit, the change in sensation almost pushing me over the edge as I feel my climax coming on.
The unrelenting voice I can never seem to get rid of screams in my ear that I cannot come. Not yet. Not until Roman does. But he silences that voice for me, proving to me once again that he knows what I need.
“I can feel you. Come for me, angel.”
His permission breaks the seal inside me, and I shatter apart on his blistering tongue. Cries pour out of me as my orgasm rips through my center, continuing to tear me apart as Roman pulses his tongue in and out of my leaking hole.
My fingers tug at the roots of his hair, ripping out the strands as I rub myself along his face without the feeling of shame. He allows me to feel good… he wants me to feel good. This is exactly how it should be.
Lifting his head from between my thighs, he watches me with flaming eyes filled with a mix of lust and adoration.
I release my grip on his head, whispering quiet apologies, suddenly feeling a little self-conscious for enjoying myself so much. I don’t know what came over me.
I feel lost in my racing thoughts as I come down from my high. I’ve never felt that way before… I didn’t realize that act could bring such euphoria throughout my body. I never experienced such pleasure at the hands of another. That thought awakens something inside me, a new hope that maybe I won’t be so fucked up forever.
But then, as soon as I let myself think I could ever be that lucky, that gnawing tension starts at the base of my spine. The shame and discomfort that I was somehow able to overcome before I orgasmed now taking over and making me feel sick.
I knew better than to dream. But I did it anyway.
I don’t know what to do other than take the band of my panties and slide them back up my thighs, doing the same with my leggings until I’m fully covered once again.
The need to apologize takes over once more, but I’m too embarrassed, too uncomfortable, so I don’t. Instead, I lie beside him and stare at the starless sky.
Roman doesn’t say anything, sensing my likely palpable change in demeanor. Instead, with a cemented smile, he takes the corner of my blanket and begins to wrap himself up with me, but not before rolling his tongue around his mouth, collecting any residue of me left behind.
Silence passes between us as we stare up at the sky, that is until his cough breaks the tension.
“You know, that’s the one thing I miss about home,” Roman says quietly. The chilly temperature making our breath come out in little puffs of air.
“What?” I ask, shifting on my side to stare at his shadowed profile.
“The stars. They were always out, dotting the sky with their vibrance. None of this fucking light pollution to overpower their shine.”
Turning back to face above, I stare at the endless nothingness of the sky, looking for at least one glimmering light to make him happy, so he never brings up home or missing it again. But to my disappointment, there’s nothing up there but a black canvas.
“I don’t miss anything about home. Not even the stars.”
Sighing, Roman turns on his side to face me, hand landing gently on my stomach, pressing against my ribs before asking, “How are you?”
I stare at the emptiness above me and consider his question. I can utter a multitude of answers at this moment, but I only want to make him feel better, so I tell him a lie.
“I’m great.”
Sighing, Roman tears his hand off my sternum and jumps from his lying position, storming away from me, leaving me baffled under the trees as I watch him stomp away.
I give myself a moment to absorb his sudden mood change before pushing myself off the ground. I follow him to the gate separating us from the rising tide of the lake, staring with wide eyes as he grips the top and throws himself over the spiked fence.
“Roman,” I call out once I get in closer proximity, but he ignores me and continues looking out at the rippling current.
