I do my best not to think of my father, or Liam, or any of the other men; try not to sink into the black hole that is my mind… but the universe is not on my side today.
‘Or maybe you just miss me, Mira baby.’
“No, no, no. Please don’t.”
It’s like he never left, his spirit taking up residence inside me. I’ve successfully ignored his voice until now. My walls have been sturdy, and the cage I’ve secured around my heart has held firm until this moment.
Why does he have to torment me, even in his death?
When does this finally stop?
“Augh!” I growl, ripping my hair at the roots as I rock back and forth on the floor.
I feel Shadow lightly brush up against my leg, her whimpers muted under the gurgling sound of my father’s laughter echoing in my mind.
Through all the noise, I hear the door creak open, the bottom of the wood gliding slowly over the synthetic fibers of the carpet as footsteps sound on the floor, making their way to me.
I don’t remember closing my eyes or holding my breath so profoundly I’m on the verge of collapse.
My heart is beating too wildly, my breathing coming in short, painful gasps, keeping my eyes sealed shut. For the life of me, I cannot get them open to reassure me that it’s Roman coming toward me and not the ghost of my dad.
Just open your eyes, and you’ll see that everything is okay.
Everything is okay.
Everything is-
“Amira?”
A pocket of air gets trapped in my trachea as I inhale, choking me until tears leak from my eyes.
“Angel. Hey, it’s me. Look at me.”
My eyes shoot open on his command, making breathing a little easier when I gaze into the green rings of his hazel eyes.
Roman deepens his breathing, helping me mimic its tempo until I'm no longer stuttering for breath.
“What happened?” he asks, dropping down beside me.
Dropping my hands from my hair, I rub my palms over my face, giving myself a moment to compose myself before I try explaining my thoughts.
“I-I thought I saw someone… and then we came through the door, and it reeks of alcohol. All I could smell was my dad… all I could feel were his hands and his mouth, and I-I… it was just too much at that moment, but I’m okay… See?” I slap a smile on my face, hoping I’m strong enough to hold back the tears that want to come forward again. “I’m fine.”
I know he doesn’t believe me. His eyes harden into blazing orbs of golden fire as his mouth sets into a firm, straight line, ready to call me out on my bullshit, when the doorbell saves me.
The loud chime cuts through the tension, both of us exchanging a confused glance before hopping off of the floor.
Shadow is quick on her feet, running through the bedroom door to the front room, her light barks reverberating through the hallway as we make our way out.
“Where’s Ash?” I ask, looking around the living room when I no longer smell the overpowering stench of alcohol.
“Out there,” Roman says, throwing his thumb over his shoulder, pointing to the back door, as he moves to the window, lifting the curtain just enough to peek outside.
“You put him outside?!”
“You weren’t the only one he reminded of home, angel,” he says, returning his gaze to the window. “What the hell….”
“Who is it?” I ask, weariness settling over me when his tone becomes serious.
