My pounding pulse drowns out any exterior noise, making it impossible to understand the conversation between them both.
With my forehead pressed against Roman’s back, I attempt to control my breathing, but the moment I cast my gaze up and stare into the abyss of Gabriel’s eyes as he passes me by, I feel myself sink. It’s only after a blink that I realize his eyes aren’t black but cornflower blue. The look on his face isn’t malicious but curious and apologetic.
“I’m sorry again,” he says, shooting me one last concerned glare before fading from my sight completely.
Roman flips over, holding me in his arms. I feel his gaze burning holes in the top of my head as I stare down at the floor, droplets of water falling down my cheeks as I apologize over and over again.
“It’s okay, angel. But what the hell just happened?”
It washim.
How could you not see that?
I feel the panic beginning to creep up my spine, making it almost impossible to hold my tears back.
“Can I wait in the car… please?” I whisper, silently pleading with him not to ask me any questions until we’re in private.
He stares into my eyes for a moment before handing me the keys. “I’ll watch you from here.” He nudges his head toward the large windows at the front of the store, where we can clearly see our car parked.
I want to beg him to come with me and walk me to my seat to know I’m safe, but I don’t do that. Swallowing my fear, I take the keys from his palm and spin on my heel, rushing out of the store until I feel the fresh breeze on my face.
I feel his eyes on my back the entire journey to the car, his concern making the hair on the back of my neck stand to attention. I waste no time disengaging the lock to hide inside, burying my head in my hands to catch my breath.
“What the fuck is wrong with you, Amira?” I ask myself, banging my knuckles against my head as I think over the meltdown I had in front of Roman and everyone else who was staring.
“Stupid, stupid, stupid,” I mumble, squeezing my temples with my first two fingers to get rid of the headache I feel coming on.
I don’t know how long I stay in this position with my legs curled up to my chest as I rest my chin on my knees, rubbing circles on my head to alleviate the pain, but a knock raps on my window, eliciting a scream from my throat.
“Open the trunk, babe.”
Hand to my chest, I reach across the seat and push the button to the back.
Unbuckling my belt, I emerge from the car, moving to join Roman in the back to help him unload the cart.
My thoughts are too preoccupied from earlier to notice his purchases. He didn’t have my list, so I know he didn’t get everything or possibly anything that we needed, but at this moment, I can’t find it in myself to care.
The drive back home is strained. I know Roman is eager to grill me about what happened at the store, but he’s patient enough to wait until we get back home.
I cry silent tears the entire drive back, head tucked into my chest as I lay against the door. Roman senses my distress, his hand never leaving my back as he rubs circles on my trembling body all the way home.
“Come on, angel,” Roman says, shutting off the engine, waiting until I unbuckle my belt and exit the car to do the same.
Arms loaded full with groceries, we struggle to get the front door open, but the second we do, the smell of Ash’s alcohol-soaked body assaults both mine and Roman’s senses, making us retch back when we walk inside.
Hand over my mouth, I force back the bile that wants to come up. That overwhelming scent of tequila reminds me of the day's dad would come home drunk, his sickly breath still present in my nose as he forced his tongue down my throat.
“Oh, God,” I gag out, dropping the food to the living room floor as I rush through the house, hurrying to lock myself in my room.
Shadow’s little feet run behind me, slipping into the room before I shut her out.
The room is like my safety net, with its creamy beige walls and calming aroma of gardenias. Usually, it makes breathing a little easier, but it fails me today. First, the brief sighting of Gabriel in a stranger's face, and now Ash, his scent reminding me of my father.
This is too much…
I can’t handle this right now!
Running my hands through my curls, I breathe in my mother’s favorite flower instead and sink to the floor.
