I couldn’t… I fucking couldn’t.
I got to my feet and went into the bathroom, where I threw up, grief and fear rolling in waves through my body as I cried on the floor.
I stayed that way for a long time before pulling myself together and returning to the waiting room. I caught the doctor moving toward her parents, and I picked up my pace to join them.
“What’s going on?” I demanded the moment I reached them.
“She’s out of surgery. The accident was bad. She has a brain bleed we need to be watching. We’ve inserted an ICP monitor through her skull so we can watch her. She had some internal bleeding that we fixed, and a broken rib punctured her right lung. She has a fractured wrist and a lot of bumps and bruises. Right now, she’s out, and we’re keeping her comfortable. She is intubated while we help her breathe and keep her stable, and she is not conscious. As long as everything holds over the next forty-eight hours, she has a good chance of waking and not having any significant impairments, but it all depends on what this brain bleed decides to do.”
“I want to see her,” I said immediately as her mother cried softly, thanking god she was still with us at least.
“Of course. We do ask for quiet.” He nodded for us to follow him, which we did. “It may look alarming because of the machines we have her on, but I promise they’re there for a reason and helping her.”
I swallowed hard, my heart aching.
He stopped outside a room. “If you need anything, please don’t hesitate. The nurse’s station is just down the hall on the left.”
I ignored him and pushed her door open. I stepped inside, my heart in my throat as I took in the mess she was.
She wasn’t breathing on her own. Machines now did it for her. Her neck was in a brace. Various wires and tubes extended from her body. Her face was so swollen that I barely recognized her. She was black and blue, with stitches along her hairline.
“Sasha,” I choked out, taking her uninjured hand in mine as I took the seat next to her bed and sobbed softly. “Fuck.”
I didn’t pay attention to her parents as they stared down at her. I tuned them out as they cried softly.
All I could do was pray and repeat her name, really hoping someone would hear me this time.
THIRTY-NINE
ROMAN
Ididn’t move from Sasha’s side for two days. I didn’t eat. I barely drank, and I definitely didn’t sleep. Monica was with Sophia, and all my meetings were canceled for the foreseeable future.
Her parents left me alone with her after her father insisted I take a break. When I told him I wasn’t going to leave her, he stepped back, a knowing look on his face.
I didn’t give a fuck at this point if he knew I was in love with her. Only she mattered, not anyone else’s goddamn feelings.
“She’s doing well,” Doctor Winkle said as he nodded to the nurses. “CT came back looking a lot better. We’re going to try to wake her today.”
I swallowed hard. Her parents had gone to the cafeteria for coffee and a bite to eat.
“Dr. Scott here will be performing all necessary measures,” Dr. Winkle continued, nodding to the tall blond man beside him. He was young and handsome. Reminded me of a frat boy who would be on the cover of some fashion rag, but judging by his serious expression, he knew what he was doing, so I didn’t protest as he set to work.
“Y-You’re going to do it here? Now?” I asked, worry filling my voice. “What if something goes wrong?”
“Then she’s in a good place,” Dr. Scott said, shooting me a look that told me to relax so he could work. He seemed familiar to me, but I couldn’t place him. I told myself it was because I was exhausted off my ass.
“We’ll have you step outside,” Dr. Winkle said.
“No. I’m not leaving her,” I said fiercely.
“Sir, we do need you to step out while we remove her breathing tube. If we need to act, we have to have the space cleared,” a middle-aged nurse said gently. “This is for her safety.”
I looked from her to my girl lying in that damn hospital bed. She was so pale, frail, and weak.
“Can…Can I have a minute before you do it?” I whispered. “In case…?” my voice trailed off.
“Of course,” Dr. Winkle said. He led Dr. Scott and the nurse from the room. It didn’t stop me from noticing a crash cart that had been left outside her room.
