He tried to get to his feet, but I wouldn’t let him. I hovered over him, not giving him an inch of space. “Leave her alone. Leave us all alone. You’re nothing but a drunken coward.” Turning away from him, I saw Mom trying to get up. Her legs were wobbly so I held out my hand to help her.
“What the−?” I couldn’t get any other words out, because my father’s arm wrapped around my throat so tightly I could barely get air into my lungs.
He spun me around and elbowed me in the stomach, leaving me gasping for air. “Don’t youevertouch me again,” he slurred, jabbing his finger into my chest on each word. “This is between me and her.” He eyed Mom over my shoulder. “Get out. Now,” he bellowed and Mom placed her hand on my shoulder.
“It’s okay, Shane. I’ll deal with him,” she whispered as he stumbled away from us to go find his precious bottle of scotch.
Holding her frail arms, I searched her face for something. I just didn’t know what. “No, Mom. Come with me. Let’s get out of here.” Thoughts of finally being free from this hell flew through my mind at Mach speed. If I could convince her, then we could all get out.
She shook her head before lowering it. “I can’t.” Her voice wavered, a cry rising in her throat.
“Yes, you can.” I was begging, pleading with her to be strong enough for herself, for both of us, but she was slipping away. She wouldn’t look at me, grabbing for the broom instead to clean up the mess.
She didn’t say anything else. He had beaten her hope to a bloody pulp and I knew I’d be next if I didn’t get out of there soon enough. I just didn’t know how.
Throwing my hands up in angry frustration, I walked away from my mom as she cleaned up the broken glass. I didn’t know how to help myself; I sure as hell couldn’t help her. When I walked past the living room, I was happy to see my father passed out on the couch, the evening news playing softly in the background. At least he’d leave her alone for a while.
About twenty minutes later, I was pulling up to Alex’s, a knot the size of a baseball in the pit of my stomach. I’d tried to call Dylan a few more times on my way here, but he still wasn’t answering.
“There you are!” Alex squealed with delight as she jumped into my arms. A flash of pain laced through my stomach where my father had punched me, but Alex didn’t appear to notice. She nuzzled into my neck and mumbled something about having to wait too long for me to show up.
I dropped my arms from her waist, and without saying anything, walked into the kitchen where she had a small makeshift bar set up. I was already pouring my second shot of something clear by the time she caught up to me.
“Hi to you, too,” she said somewhat sarcastically, jabbing at my less than warm welcome.
Slamming the shot glass down caused everything else on the counter to shake. After the vodka warmed a path down my chest, I shot her a sneering look. “I’m not in the mood, Alex.” I didn’t feel like dealing with her. As I poured the third shot, everything came crashing into me all at once.
I hated my father.
I wanted to leave home.
I didn’t have anywhere to go.
I needed to break things off with Alex.
I missed Dylan.
Alex let her fingers dance up my forearm and I shuddered at her touch. I was too fucked up right now to be bothered with her. I stormed away from her just as my phone vibrated in my back pocket.
A picture of Dylan and me flashed across the screen. I stepped back out to the front porch where the music was barely above a low hum so I could at least hear him.
“Where are you?” he asked without saying hello.
Alex slinked up behind me and wrapped her arms around my waist, muttering something against my back. She didn’t even see that I was on the phone. “Hold on,” I told Dylan. I pulled the phone away from my ear and held it against my chest as I turned to Alex.
She looked up at me all dreamy-eyed – and drunk, really drunk. “Come back inside,” she slurred seductively.
I rolled my eyes, looking up into the cold night sky as if the stars would offer me some kind of answer. I went with the Band-Aid approach. Tonight had been too much for me to deal with and I just wanted a touch of the truth in my life. That was waiting for me on the phone.
“I can’t do this, Alex. I’m sorry, but I have to go.” I moved to step away from her just as she grabbed my arm. My phone dropped to the floor as she started yelling at me.
“You can’t do this anymore?” She shot me a mean look of disbelief. “You haven’t done anything, feeding me scraps of attention like I’m some dog or something.” She threw her hands to the side, huffing her frustrations into ribbons of steam in the cold air.
Sure, I felt bad for hurting her, but I had to do this. I had to end this and get away. I bent down and picked up my phone as she stormed inside.
I jogged down to my car and once I was inside, I looked at phone and realized the call had ended. Maybe it hung up when I dropped it. I hoped Dylan hadn’t heard anything with Alex. I could only imagine how it may have sounded.
Calling him back, he picked up on the first ring. “Hey, lost you there for a minute.” His voice soothed me instantly. Even though he wasn’t there with me, I could feel his arms holding me, his lips kissing me, his scent enveloping me.
