“Look,” her words cut through the laughter, and we both settled, “I didn’t actually tell him I was your girlfriend. Really, I was just stopping by to drop off your sweatshirt. You left it in the car.”
I arched an eyebrow at her, pulling a face. “Really?” I asked skeptically.
“Yes, really,” she snipped, but then quickly smiled. “I just didn’t correct him when he assumed we were dating,” she added sheepishly, keeping her eyes locked on her twisted-together hands.
Like a lightning bolt splitting the sky, a thought cracked through my mind. I covered her hands with one of mine, timidly, because for all intents and purposes, I barely knew her. She peeked up at me, her eyes hidden under her long, thick lashes. “Look, I’m sorry for lashing out. Maybe we could get together again.” She bounced in her seat, letting me know, not only that she was excited about that idea, but also that I had to tread lightly. If I was going to use her to lie to my family, to make my life a bit easier until I could get out, then I was going to have to walk a fine line with her. “I’m not making any promises. Let’s get to know each other and see where things go, okay?” I felt like I was talking to a small child.
“I’d like that.” She calmed her bouncing and looked at me expectantly.
I stood from the couch and walked her to the front door. She spun on her heels as I opened the door for her. “You’ll call, right?” Her hands went to my chest and I stared down at them like they were claws. It felt as if she was trying to make her mark. Something in my head screamed,you landed a crazy one here.But the idea of possibly getting my father off my case, and being able to breathe around here outweighed that voice.
“Yeah, sure. I’ll talk to you soon.” She stretched up and kissed my cheek before strutting down the driveway.
After closing the door, I shook my head, trying to rid myself of my own stupidity. What the hell had I just gotten myself into?
The next few weeks went by in a blur. Even though I was weighed down by midterms and studying, my grades were actually improving, much to my shock. I wished I could have said the same thing about my mental state. Balancing the fake relationship with Alex and the very real relationship with Dylan was becoming unbearable. I couldn’t tell him about her or her about him, and I felt as if the ground was just going to crack open and swallow me whole at any moment.
Alex had been to my house a handful of times. My father welcomed her with open arms and I couldn’t, for the life of me, ever figure out why he was so warm to her when all he’d ever give me was the icy coldness of his fists. To make matters worse, Reid seemed to tiptoe around her; uncertainty hung in the air whenever the two of them were in the same room.
I was packing up my things in the library, getting ready to head home for a late night study session when Scott came up to me.
“Hey, man. So I hear you and my sister are hitting things off.” Shaking my head, I laughed. Of course, Alex would tell her brother.
I shrugged and pulled my bag up over my shoulder. “Yeah, I guess.”
He laughed. “I don’t need all the dirty details.” He held my shoulder firmly, grabbing my attention. “I’m just saying be careful with her. Okay?”
There was something hidden in his tone, some brotherly secret he wasn’t willing to divulge, but I heard traces of it in his words.
“Yeah, I got it. I will.” I felt like an asshole. Hell, I was an asshole. There I was stringing along a girl with whom I had no intention of actually dating. How I’d gotten through this last month with nothing more than coffee and study sessions and a few innocent pecks to the cheek were beyond me. It helped that she was knee deep in an anatomy class that didn’t leave her much time to socialize. But she was always willing to make time to see me. When I could see that she wanted more, I always made up some lame excuse about having to go home or about not wanting to rush things.
We walked out of the library together and he asked if I was going to Alex’s party tonight.
“Uh, I hadn’t planned on it,” I deflected and opened my car door.
“It’ll be fun. Besides, you don’t have class tomorrow. Come on.” I didn’t know what spurred his enthusiasm, but to be honest, I did have fun at the last party. Alex may be misreading me, but the sad reality was that Alex and Scott were my only friends.
How pathetic was that?
“Okay, I’ll go.” I gave in mainly because I literally had nothing better to do.
“Cool. See you later, then.” He bumped my fist before walking away.
Things between Alex and me wouldn’t last much longer. They couldn’t. I knew that much, but I hadn’t quite worked it out in my head how to break things off.
As I sat in my car, I tried to push down that part of my life and clear my head enough to call Dylan. We hadn’t talked in the last few days since he was away at some training camp. I’d been busy at my new job at the campus book store – a blessing in that it kept me from having to see Alex as often as she’d like to, a curse because it kept me from talking to Dylan as much as I’d like to.
I dialed his number and my hopes deflated quickly as I got his voicemail. I left a quick message telling him I’d be out for the night, but I’d hoped to hear from him soon, that I missed him. I hoped he’d be around later and we could actually talk. It’d been too long since I heard his voice.
When I got home, I could tell immediately that things were not good. I heard the screaming and yelling from the driveway. Mom’s cries were loud and cut right through me. I jumped from my car, almost forgetting to shift it into park as I pulled into the driveway.
I barreled through the door and was disgusted at shards of broken glass scattered all over the floor. “What the hell?” I said to myself as I raced toward the kitchen.
“Mom!” She was cowered in a corner, her arms wrapped around her waist, lost to a fit of sobs. I crouched down in front of her and she flinched when I brushed her hair out of her face. My stomach dropped when I saw the red welt of a backhanded slap blazing on her cheek.
My father stumbled out of the laundry room, which was at the back of the kitchen. Reeking of scotch, he tossed the broom at Mom and she flinched again.
Something snapped inside of me. Dropping my shoulder, I lunged at my father. He fell to the floor in a drunken stupor. “You asshole,” I roared down at him. He didn’t react; I think he was still surprised to have landed on his ass.
