“Shit, shit, shit,” I cursed, racing to the counter with a tray of appetizers burning my hand. “You motherfucker.”
“That mouth of yours,” Quinn chastised me as he reached into the freezer to pull out an ice pack.
I gasped at the touch of the ice to my burning skin. Quinn chuckled as he held my hand. “Want me to kiss it and make it better?” He looked deep into my eyes with so much sin,I almost dropped to my knees.
For confession, of course.
“As much as I’d like that right now,” I spoke, pulling our joined hands up to my lips, “everyone is going to be here in about five minutes, and we both know we need way more time than that.”
We exchanged a heated look, broken only by theding-dongof the doorbell. “So much for five minutes,” Quinn said, pulling away from me.
Walkingbehind him, I smacked his ass. “I’ll be sure to add an extra five minutes later on,” I said. He turned around, feigning offense at the love tap as he smiled wide.
“Good, because I love that dirty mouth of yours.” His words faded into a searing kiss that would linger through the rest of the night.
“My boys, my boys,” Beatrice greet when we opened the door. “How are you, my loves?”
She didn’toffer much time for us to reply before nearly smothering us in a group hug. In the ten months since Quinn had moved here, we’d had Beatrice and Aurora over every week for family dinner on Sunday nights. Our time together was a soothing balm to the scrapes and scratches of life. And for the first time, I knew what it was truly like to be someone’s family.
Aurora followed behind her mother, carryinga few bags of gifts. Added to the chaos of their entry into our home were Quinn’s parents and their bags, shortly thereafter followed by Patrick, Sarah, and their infant daughter, Stella.
After about a half an hour of saying hello, making introductions, and pouring drinks, the commotion settled and everyone seemed at ease.
It dawned on me that when I usually would have thought something alongthe lines of everyone was at ease except me, I realized everyone was at ease because of me.
Because I’d invited them all. Because I’d had the courage to tell Quinn just how much I needed him in my life. Because I’d been brave enough to ask Quinn to move here and partner with me in my business, and in my life.
And when my parents walked through the door, something in me changed forever. For thefirst time ever, not only did I have people who I knew genuinely cared about me, but I had them all here, in one place, at the same time.
Before I could let it all sink in, we were gathered around the table I’d made for Quinn last year. It was a tight squeeze, but we both knew we were so blessed to have ten people to feed.
“It looks like a freaking Hallmark movie,” I whispered to Quinn as hepassed me the mashed potatoes.
“I know,” he agreed through a small laugh.
“Hey, what are you two giggling about down there?” Sarah asked, calling everyone’s attention to our end of the table.
“Nothing. It’s just so… so… weird to have everyone here,” I explained. “But weird in a really great way. I never thought I’d be so lucky to have all the people I care about all together like this.”
“There’snowhere else we’d rather be,” Annie cut in, a smile pulling at her lips.
“Hear, hear,” Patrick added as he raised his glass. “Actually,” he continued as he stood from his seat. “If it’s okay with you and Quinn, I’d like to say a few words.” He was sitting next to me, so he clapped a hand to my shoulder as he stood.
I nodded back, and though it still lingered, the fear that Patrick would belittleme or degrade me somehow had faded much like the scars of my childhood.
He ran his hand over his face, scratching at his full beard. There were bags under his eyes, probably from sleepless nights with the baby. There was something calmer, something more relaxed about him since he’d become a father. “I just wanted… to uhh… say… um…” he stammered, trying to gather his words. Sarah reached for hishand, carefully balancing baby Stella in her other arm. He took a deep breath and let out a long exhale. “I don’t even know where to begin, but I know that I feel so incredibly grateful for each and every one of you. Especially you.” He raised his glass at me and Quinn. “Both of you.” He paused once more to look down at his wife and daughter. “You both gave me another chance when it was the lastthing I deserved. You showed me how true family works and I can only hope that I can be half the man you guys are for Stella.” The last of his words came out through a choked-with-emotion throat. When he gathered his feelings, he held up his glass once more, saying, “You and Quinn are the epitome of what kindness and forgiveness are. And nothing would make Sarah and I happier than for you to beStella’s godparents.”
I’d seen Patrick change a lot in the last year, especially through Sarah’s rather difficult pregnancy and emergency delivery. It wasn’t until he thought he would lose everything that mattered to him that he became the man he felt he should have been all along. He’d already been committed to our twice a month phone therapy sessions. But since he became a father, he’d trulymade more of an effort to be my brother than he ever had in his life.
Squeezing Quinn’s hand helped me hold back my tears. “We’d be honored,” I answered for both of us before Patrick pulled me into a big hug. In all honesty, the moment was so surreal, I questioned if it was actually happening.
But when my father stood up, holding his glass in his hand, asking for everyone’s attention, I wasbrought right back to the here and now. “Boys,” he began, keeping his eyes focused on me and Patrick. “I know I haven’t been the best of examples, as a husband or a father. But I need you both, I need all four of you, to know how unbelievably proud of you I am. Without owing anything to me, you’ve both grown up into fine men with beautiful families. I couldn’t be prouder of you if I tried.” His emotionsstarted getting the best of him, so he ended his toast abruptly.
Then Beatrice stood. At this rate we wouldn’t eat dinner before midnight, but I didn’t have the heart not to let her talk as well. “Thank you, Ryan, for making us part of your family, for bringing us into your home week after week.” She looked around the table, making eye contact with each and every person as she said, “And to allof you, I know the road leading you all to this point hasn’t been an easy one, but it’s exactly the one you were all supposed to take. It was the road that made you the people you are today, the family you are today. And I think you’re a pretty great family.” She looked down at Aurora and reached for her hand. “And I know what a great family is.”
“Hear, hear,” Quinn said as he stood next to me.“Now let’s eat before everything gets cold.”
The rest of the meal was lost to the relentless chatter and rising laughter. In short, it was everything I had always wanted out of life, but was too afraid to say I deserved. But with Quinn at my side, holding my hand and the rest of my family surrounding me, I finally felt whole, complete. I finally felt like I the man I was supposed to be.
