He had to be here.
There was no way he wouldn’t come to his own brother’s wedding.
His parents were here.
His brother was the groom. My sister the bride.
Their wedding was in two days. Right here in my parents’ backyard.
There was no way in hell he wouldn’t show up.
But no matter how many times I told myself all those things, I knew there was the very distinct possibility that Ryanwouldn’t be here.
And if anything was truer than the sky being blue, it was that Ryan Masterson would always do what he wanted to do, no matter what anyone else expected of him.
He followed his head despite what his heart might have told him.
Even when it destroyed the lives of the people who loved him.
Okay, that was a touch melodramatic, but it wasn’t untrue where I was concerned.
I lookeddown at my watch for the hundredth time in the last… minute. It had only been a freaking minute. Raking a hand through my hair, I let out a deep breath. If just the thought of seeing Ryan again had me this worked up, I knew I would be a hot fucking mess if he actually did walk through that door.
The same door I’d had my eyes glued to since I showed up at my parents’ house.
It made no sense really,because even if Ryan showed up, he wouldn’t sneak into the door on the side of the house, leading right down to the basement. He certainly wouldn’t use the spare key I’d made him all those years ago. The key only we knew about.
No, if he did show up, he’d park his car out front. He wouldn’t worry about his headlights illuminating the road and waking my parents. He’d walk right up the driveway,not tiptoeing his way among the shadows of my mother’s tall rosebushes. Ryan would simply ring the doorbell, alerting everyone of his arrival, not at all concerned about not being seen.
What was supposed to be a silent huff of derision ended up falling from my lips like some kind of rueful chuckle.
“What’s so funny over there?” My mom’s question pulled me from my wayward thoughts. And it alsoscared the crap out of me.
“What? Huh?” I sputtered, turning to face her, sloshing my drink over the rim in the process. “Nothing, oh nothing,” I continued like a fool as I cleaned the droplets of vodka from the counter.
“Good, then you can help your mother out.” She smiled over at me, folding a dishtowel before draping it over the edge of the sink. “Grab that tray and please go out and sayhello to everyone. Patrick’s parents just showed up too. Go out there. You know your sister won’t be happy if you don’t join in the party tonight. She worked so hard on all the details.”
Smiling, I walked over to her, holding the tray of appetizers she’d told me to grab. “You’re right, Mom.” I kissed the top of her head. “Just been distracted. But I’m here now.”
“Good.”
With a deep sigh anda resigned attitude, I turned away from my mom and simply hoped for the best. “Hey, there you are,” Sarah called out as I walked into the living room where everyone was gathered. “I was wondering where you went.” Excitedly, which was the only way Sarah ever did anything, she introduced me to Patrick’s parents.
We both knew it wasn’t an introduction. We’d all known each other, but consideringI hadn’t seen them in over a decade, we may as well have been strangers.
“Mr. and Mrs. Masterson,” I greeted them, shaking their hands while being as cordial as possible. “It’s so nice to see you again.” Yeah, sure, we’d all grown up together, me and Sarah, Patrick and Ryan, but Ryan and I spent all of our time here. If you asked me, MaryBeth and Stephen Masterson were conservative to a fault,a trait they initially passed on to Patrick, one that he had apparently done an entire one-eighty on after Sarah broke up with him in high school. It wasn’t immediate, but eventually Patrick recognized his role in the darkness of Ryan’s childhood. I assumed Ryan’s distance was simply a convenient way for Patrick never to have to take responsibility for his actions. Sarah once told me that he explainedto her how he’d regretted how he treated Ryan, but he didn’t know how to make up for it. And it kept happening because neither of his parents stepped in. Culpability seemed to be his Achilles’ heel. I never really pushed Sarah for an explanation as to why she took him back, but I knew that if she could see beyond his flaws, there must be something there truly worth recognizing.
That conservatismplayed a huge role in why Ryan had always felt so comfortable here. He could be who he truly was without having to worry about letting anyone down. Plus, hiding your boyfriend from your parents was a lot easier to do when you didn’t bring him home with you.
Not that anyone knew about us in the first place. But his fear of them, or anyone else finding out about us, was enough for me to keep hissecret, too.
They smiled and nodded, almost perfectly in sync. And the closer I looked at them as they talked about nothing in particular, the more I realized they were almost exactly the same person. Dressed in the same color scheme, they blended into one another. A bubble of laughter threatened to escape as they both took a sip of their red wine at the exact same time. Luckily, I was able tostifle it.
“So are you still interested in… what was it that you did back in high school? You and Ryan were always busy with some project or another.” Stephen asked with more than a touch of derision in his voice. And MaryBeth, well, despite keeping her attention focused on the conversation, I could tell she really didn’t care much.
“Welding,” I answered politely, even though polite was thelast thing I felt.
“Oh, that’s right,” Mr. Masterson answered, not bothering one bit to hide his distaste of my job.
