Noah laughed, putting me somewhat at ease. “What’s up?”
“Are you at work? Did I catch you at a bad time?” Even though I wanted desperately to explain my earlier awkwardness to him, I would have easily ended the conversation with minimal excuse on his end.
“No, I’m good. Just got homefrom work. My shift was cut short for once. How’s Benny feeling?”
“He’s good. Much better.” Sitting myself up in bed, I rested my back against the wall. Imagining Noah doing the same, I was envious of his soft, tufted headboard. “I’m sorry I got all weird earlier today.”
“Oh, good,” he huffed into the line, overly relieved. “I thought I was the only one who noticed.” I heard him moving around,opening and closing some cabinets. Liquid poured into a glass. It was as if I were right there next to him. “Care to share why?”
The smug tone of his voice didn’t turn me off. It did exactly the opposite, but before I let myself go there, I needed to tell him the truth. I wasn’t going to mince words, and there was no point in dragging out hidden emotions when a quick conversation, driving tothe heart of the matter, would allow us to move forward a hell of a lot quicker. “I was worried about what you thought about my apartment. And about Benny. I’m a twenty-three-year-old, broke college dropout, who’s essentially a single parent to a high school senior. Oh, and I’m a stripper, in case you forgot that last part.”
“You couldn’t wipe the image of you stripping out of my mind if youtried.” His voice was rich and thick, like caramel. “Look,” he added. He cleared his throat as if it would dislodge the need he held for me brought on by thinking about me dancing for him. “None of that matters.” Ice cubes clinked in the background. Even without being there next to him, I saw his lips pressed up to a glass, sipping down what I was sure was whiskey. “I mean, I know it all matters.It’s who you are. And Benny, he’s obviously the most important thing in your life. I get it. But none of that changes how I feel about you.”
Letting his words soak in, I realized one thing: he was too good for me. Taking a deep breath, I chose to push that thought down. My head knew he was right. I’d done nothing to deserve this life and was doing everything in my power to make it as good aspossible. There was no reason for me not to deserve someone as good as Noah. Thinking about how he held me, how he came to my rescue when I thought something was really wrong, how his eyes twinkled with pride when Benny told him about the soccer recruits, I came to a new conclusion: maybe he was just the perfect amount of good.
He was exactly what I needed.
“Are you free Wednesday afternoon?I’m going to Benny’s game. He wanted to know if you wanted to go.”
“Do you want me to go?”
I didn’t need to think about that at all. Yes, I wanted him there. Hell, I wanted him here now. “Yeah. I do.”
“Then I’ll be there,” he said simply. The ice cubes clinked again, making me wish I was right there to lick the whiskey from his soft lips. “Thanks for calling and being honest with me. It meansa lot to me after…. Well, it just means a lot.”
“Of course. I need to get some sleep. It’s been a long weekend. I’ll send you the address and time tomorrow.”
“Sounds good. Goodnight, Chase.”
“’Night, Noah,” I replied, and took a deep breath before ending the call.
The phone buzzed in my hand before I even had the chance to put it on my nightstand.
Dream of me,Noah’s text read.
A smile spreadacross my face.Only if you do the same,I replied.
I fell asleep recounting our two nights together. It all seemed so easy, even when it should be complicated as fuck. A warm hope blossomed in my chest, and for the first night in a long time, I didn’t hate my bed. I didn’t hate my life.
For the first time in a long time, I looked forward to the next morning.
