WHAT THE FUCK did I just do? Down to my core, I knew Micah would never do anything to intentionally hurt me.
Like I’d just done to him.
Fear took over, and there was no way for me to rationalize him wanting me. The only logical conclusion I could come up with was that he was doing to me what they’d done for years—find my weakness and exploit it.
My heart knew he’d never do that. But my head was the one in need of convincing.
As if someone could kiss like that and not mean it. My lips burned where his had touched, and my body longed to feel his moving against it.
There was no denying he wanted me.
And fucking hell did I want him.
“What the fuck is wrong with you?” I asked myself, my back pressed against my front door.
“I was wondering the same fucking thing,” an annoyed voice answered from the other side.
Micah.
“Open the fucking door,” he demanded. “Now or I’ll walk away forever.”
With a shaking hand, I turned the door knob. Anger made his face darker, sharper. Without a word, he stepped over the threshold, pushing me back as he entered. He turned his back to me as he closed and locked the door behind him. His body was tense, strung so tight he looked like he might explode if I said the wrong thing.
So I chose to keep my mouth shut, figuring I’d already done enough damage. He walked toward me, but walked wasn’t the right word. Stalked me like the prey I was. Completely ignoring how my feet remained glued to the floor, he continued to move. “Is that really what you think?” he asked, his fingertip digging into my chest as if he hoped to inflict the physical equivalent of the emotional pain I’d just caused him. Though I opened my mouth to respond, Micah wouldn’t let me speak. “After all the time we’ve spent together, after everything we’ve shared with one another . . . You’re my best friend. Why the fuck would I use your deepest secret against you? Why on earth would I tell them you’re gay when you’d only worked up the courage to tell me?”
His anger pulsated around us. His jaw was clenched so tightly, I thought it would snap under the pressure. When he finally gave me the chance to speak, I said the most truthful words that had ever left my mouth. “Because everyone who has ever meant anything to me has hurt me.” Well, they were the most truthful since this afternoon. “I don’t think I could survive not having you in my life because if I didn’t have you, I’d literally have no one.”
My words must have cut him to the quick. His face softened, but his eyes remained cold and fixed on mine. “I wouldn’t have done what I just did if I had plans on leaving. That’s for fucking sure.”
“So you’re . . .” For some stupid reason, I let the rest of my question trail off into the minimal space between us.
Without missing a beat, and without an ounce of shame, he answered, “Gay? Yeah. I am. Last time I checked, straight guys don’t go around kissing other guys.”
“And you . . .” His confession rendered me speechless, so asking him anything became near impossible. But I needed to hear the words. So I gathered my courage and finally asked, “And you really want me?”
He didn’t answer.
Not with words anyway.
His strong arms wrapped around my waist as he pushed us both toward the couch. His lips crashed into mine, his tongue diving back into my mouth as if it always belonged there. We tumbled onto the couch, the old, creaking springs poking me in the back as I landed on the faded floral cushions. With our legs tangled together, we kissed as if our lives depended on it. He was my next breath, and I was his. As his body moved on top of mine, I felt the grip on my control slide out of my hands. And I didn’t care at all.
In those moments, all I cared about was his mouth. His body. His hands.
His hard length rubbing against mine.
It was almost too much to take.
And then he effortlessly lifted his shirt over his head, in that sexy as fuck way he always did—with one hand, from behind. Staring at his naked chest was nothing new for me. I’d seen him like this practically every day as we worked out. But now that I could touch him, without any fear of him pushing me away, my hands were shaking beyond control. Whether Micah noticed it or not, I couldn’t say for sure. But I was more than thankful when he slid his fingers under the hem of my T-shirt. “Now you,” he said, his voice thick with need. Angling my body up slightly, I gave him the space he needed to remove my shirt. Watching in awe, I kept my eyes glued to his hands as he trailed them down my chest. “I never thought I’d get the chance to do this. To be here.”
The raw honesty and pure emotion of his confession sent me spiraling with need for him. Reaching up, I wrapped a hand around his neck and pulled him to my mouth again. There was nothing slow about how we moved. Everything was fueled in a need, pent-up for so long, we were both going to explode if we didn’t let go soon.
As if he could read my mind, he moved down my body, trailing his tongue along my neck, stopping to nip at my chest. Without wasting another second, he settled himself in between my legs. Resting back on his haunches, he toyed with the waistband of my shorts. “Tell me no and I’ll stop.” He mistook the second I took to process his words as me trying to figure out how to tell him to stop. Pulling his hands away, he blurted, “It’s too much. I know. I’ve just . . . it’s been forever. Well, never, really, to be honest. I shouldn’t . . .”
Stifling my laughter at his rambling—as fucking ridiculous as it may be—I asked, “Are you going to shut up now?” before grabbing his hands once again. “There is no way in hell I’m going to tell you no.”
And with that, he lowered my shorts so fucking slowly I thought I might die waiting for them to be gone completely. Then his hand wrapped around my dick and I swear my heart stopped. “Oh fuck.” Unable to keep my body still, I pushed up into his hand as I called out his name. “Micah, oh God.”
“I like hearing you say my name like that,” he admitted quietly as he jerked me off like it was something he did all the time. Somehow, he knew my body and shamelessly, I let him work me over until I was at the edge of an orgasm I knew I’d never forget.
