His pupils dilated as his fingers tensed around mine. “Tell me,” he begged, turning to face me.
“Jude,” I choked out his name. Keeping my fingers laced with his, I lifted my other hand to his face. Lightly grazing his cheek, I closed my eyes, reveling in the feel of his skin under my touch. A staggered breath made its way past my lips before I admitted, “I needed you to put a shirt on because I knew I wouldn’t be able to hold back with you half-naked.”
When I opened my eyes, all I saw was shock written across his beautiful face. Though it was a thinner version of the one I met all those months ago, it was just as attractive. His kindness, his humor, his light, those were what drew me to him in the beginning.
Those were what gave me the courage to keep talking now. “I’ve barely been able to hold back at all lately.”
“Hold back?” He pulled his hand from mine, surprise widening his eyes.
With my other hand free now, I moved it to the other side of his face. Pulling his attention back to my stare, I hoped he’d see the truth behind my words. “Yes. Not being able to tell you how I feel has been the most difficult challenge I’ve ever faced. Up until now.”
“Why now?”
“Because I thought I’d die if I never got to touch you,” I added, keeping my voice barely above a hushed whisper as I moved my fingertips along his hard jawline.
My heart nearly leaped out of my chest as he leaned into my touch. With his eyes closed, he let out a deep sigh. His features went lax, but his chest heaved, struggling to pull air into his lungs. Taking my chances he wanted this kiss as much as I did, I leaned in. His warm breath danced on my lips, sweet yet masculine.
Centimeters away from the moment I knew would forever change the path of my life, I kept my eyes opened, not wanting to forget what Jude’s face looked like when our lips touched for the first time. The first touch was a gentle one, our lips barely brushing together. His breathing was still staggered as he pulled away, and I feared I’d overstepped some imagined line. I’d gone and fucked up the only friendship I’d ever had.
He opened his eyes, dropped a hand to my leg, and used the other to grab my neck.
The second touch was not so gentle.
His lips moved against mine with hunger, as if I’d provide him with the sustenance he’d been missing out on his whole life. His deep moans allowed me to taste him, let my tongue dive into his warm mouth, and move around as if it’d always belonged there. “Oh fuck,” I called out, moving my hands through his soft hair, grazing my nails along his goose-bump covered skin.
My curse of approval spurred him on, and within seconds, I was flat on my back on Jude’s kitchen floor, his weight pressing into me in all the right places. No longer afraid of what he’d think, I ground my erection up into his as my hands moved along his back. Our tongues tangled together; our breaths became one. The only noises sounding out were those of our groans of pleasure.
Emboldened by his dick pressing into mine, I let my hands travel over his mesh shorts. He kissed me deeper and moaned in approval as I squeezed his tight ass. Spurred on by his desire, I traced the elastic waistband before letting my hands touch his bare skin.
Before I could even register what we were getting into, his warmth was gone. He stood above me so abruptly, I couldn’t even catch my breath to speak my protest.
“Get the fuck out,” he yelled, his chest still heaving as he worked to catch his breath.
Pushing my back up against the counter, I tried to imagine I’d heard something different. “Jude,” I begged, hating how whiny my voice sounded.
“Just get the fuck out. Now.” He turned his back on me as if I hadn’t been the only one who mattered to him. He didn’t need to tell me. His body told me what his words kept hidden.
“No,” I protested, standing before him. “There’s no way in fucking hell I’m leaving here. Not after . . . not after that.”
“I don’t give a shit what you want.” He moved into my personal space. “I don’t need your fucking sympathy. Fuck, for all I know, you’re just doing this so you can go back to Leon. Give him and his asshole friends more reason to hate me.”
I wasn’t stupid enough to think coming over here to tell him I had fallen for him would be easy. But I never imagined he’d think so little of me to believe I’d use his feelings to hurt him.
“That’s really what you think?” I asked when I walked past him.
“Yeah,” he muttered, exhaustion weighing his words down.
Without saying another word to the man I thought was my best friend, I walked out the door, hoping the tears wouldn’t fall.
