“I’m good, Joe. I just need to get out of here. I’ll be in touch.” Katie is shocked at my words. So am I, honestly. She probably thought everything would be like some happy little sitcom once Mom and I talked. Maybe it could have been. If we had years to heal our wounds, maybe it could have been a happy ending. Right now though, right now I just have to leave.
A tiny nagging voice in the back of my head tells me that I’m being an asshole, that I’m being a coward by always running away from my problems. Right now, that voice can shut the fuck up.
I don’t even look back to see the shock on their faces. I can’t. So instead, I turn my back on Joe and Katie and my dying mother because it’s easier than dealing with everything.
Sitting in the truck, waiting for it to warm up, I pull my phone out of my pocket and turn the power back on. The alerts that I’ve missed a call, a text message and that I have a voicemail all chime in, one after the other. I don’t recognize the number, but I open the text anyway.
When I see that it’s from Maddy, my heart thuds in my chest and my hands start shaking almost to the point that I’m unable to scroll through the message.
Maddy: Hey it’s Maddy. I had to get a new phone so I hope that you’ll get this even though it’s a new number. I miss you and I’m sorry for everything. Please call me. I know I don’t deserve your forgiveness, but I love you. I hope you still love me. xx
I call my voicemail and when I hear her soft, sweet voice, my chest constricts. She sounds sad, resigned almost. She hopes I still love her? Is she crazy? I can’t say I’m all that happy with how things went down, but I can get over it.
With now steadier hands, I dial her new number. It rings and rings and rings. When I get the voicemail, I’m beyond disappointed that it’s the standard recording; it’s not even her voice.
I call at least five more times and it all goes to voicemail. What the fuck? She calls me to tell me she wants me back and then she ignores me.
I dial Mel. I’m getting to the bottom of this once and for all. Mel picks up on the second ring.
“Reid? Where are you? Why haven’t you called Maddy? What the hell is going on with you guys?” She’s clearly surprised to hear from me, but not so surprised that her barrage of questions are kept at bay.
“Yeah, it’s me. Listen, I don’t have the time to get into it all. I had my phone off last night and Maddy called and I just tried calling her back, but she’s not answering. What the fuck is going on?” I know she can tell I’m pissed, but I don’t care. I need some answers.
“Um…I don’t know why she isn’t answering? She’s not here right now…” Her words fade into the background and I hear her moving things around.
“What do you mean she’s not there, Mel? Where the hell is she?” My rage is rising and it’s taking way too much effort to keep it in check right now.
“Ah ha! Here it is!” She sounds victorious. “She’s at work, but she must have left her phone at home. She’s not ignoring you.”
I let out the breath I was holding. I’m both relieved and frustrated. At least she’s not ignoring me.
“Work? She got a job? Already?” I hear Mel laugh at my surprise.
“Yes, she got a job! Babies aren’t cheap, you know.” I hear her chiding tone and right now I just don’t appreciate it.
“Listen, Mel. Think what you will, but I didn’t walk away. She pushed me away. But I’m ready to push back now. When will she be home?” She doesn’t respond right away. Did I just shock Mel into silence?
“Uh, well I’m supposed to pick her up at six.” She’s being a bit more reserved all of a sudden.
“Well, it looks like your schedule just cleared up. I’m coming there today and I’ll pick her up, just don’t tell her. Okay?” She doesn’t really have a choice. It’s what I’m doing and that’s that.
“Sure. Okay. I can do that. But listen, Reid. Take it easy on her. I’m not going to speak for her, but she knows she was wrong. She loves you. You know that, right?”
“Yes, I know that. And if she didn’t doubt me at first, we wouldn’t even be in this situation.” The bitterness of my words is harsh; I know it. I’m just wound a bit too tight dealing with everything and I don’t mean to take it out on Mel, but I just need to see Maddy.
“Look, Mel, I’m sorry. I don’t mean to rip your head off. I know she loves me, and believe me, I love her. That’s why I’m coming there tonight. I’m going to prove to her, beyond any of her crazy doubts, that I love her and that she’s the only woman I want to be with.”
Obviously placated, she breathes a sigh of relief. “Good. I’ll text you the address. I guess I’ll see you later then.” She still sounds uncertain, but it’s not her that I need to convince.
As fucked up as I may be, I can’t stay pissed at Mel. “Thanks, Mel. I mean that. I’ll see you in a few hours.”
“Okay, Reid. Bye”
As I end the call, a little bit of the heaviness I’ve been feeling lifts. I can’t deal with my mom right now. I’m not sure that I’ll ever be able to, but no matter what I make of my past, Maddy will be a part of my future. That much is certain.
I spend most of the afternoon driving around to waste time, but now that it’s nearly five forty-five, I’m jittery with nervous energy at the thought of finally seeing Maddy again.
It’s foolish really. We’ve only been apart for less than a week, but with everything that happened in that week, it feels like a lifetime since I’ve seen her.
