Shaun’s breath whistles between his teeth. “I think I pity a man who tries to blackmail my daughter.”
That jolts a laugh out of me. I shake my head and close my eyes. “I never should have taken her to meet him.”
Shaun sighs. “You wanted your girl to meet your family. There’s nothing wrong with that, son.”
Except he’s not my family. Not really. Not in the way family should be.
I press myself back against the driver’s seat and stare into the night.
My emotions are raw tonight and something about the darkness makes it easier to put to words what I’ve always been ashamed of. “I used to wish I really was your son.” I flick a glance at Shaun. “Then I’d feel bad for having every privilege in the world and wishing it all away.”
In the corner of my eye, Shaun gives a sharp shake of the head. “You have nothing to feel bad about. Your father on the other hand…” The softening lines of his jaw harden but I let out a low laugh. Shaun’s always been careful not to say a bad word about my parents, but he’s shit at hiding his emotions and I know they’re not his favorite people.
It’s also how I know he means it when he draws in a breath, turns to face me, and says, “You are my son, Roman. In every way that matters.”
A fist squeezes my heart. “I don’t know whether I’m enough for her,” I admit. How can I be if I’m not even enough for my own parents?
He doesn’t need to ask me who I mean. We both just stare out the front of the car. “If you were any other guy, I’d say you weren’t. I’d say no one is good enough for my daughter. But I’ve seen the way she’s looked at you since she was twelve years old. Lola flies through life like a whirlwind. Nothing ever holds her attention, except you.” His reaches over, his hand squeezing the nape of my neck as his gaze tapers on me. “You are all she wants, Roman. You are all she’s ever wanted.”
Tension builds in my cheekbones as I screw up my face. “She’s pushing me away.”
Shaun chuckles under his breath, the sound somehow tired and full of love all at once. “Of course she is,” he murmurs. The door unlatches as he pulls on the handle. “I’m going to go check on her.” Shaun drops out of the truck, turning to face me beforehe goes. He rubs a thumb over his mustache. “Roman, you believed in my girl even when I didn’t. Now, that’s on me, but do me a favor?”
I catch his eye.
“Don’t give up on her now.” He lets the passenger door shut behind him.
I watch Shaun disappear inside the shop then I take out my phone and call Jarred.
“Hey,” I say. “I know it’s late, but I need your help.”
I gave up on Lola once before and spent the next six years regretting it. I’m not about to let her slip away for a second time.
Chapter Thirty-Three
Lola
Why did you destroy Miss Ford’s shop?
She knows why.
I want you to tell me.
No comment.
Are you angry at Lola?
No comment.
Do you want to hurt her?
I want to fucking kill her.
- Extract from interrogation of Robert Carson by Officer O’Connor
The sheets tanglearound me as I open my eyes, squirming in my bed to avoid the bright sunlight. I did eventually get around to buying some blinds for my apartment which is somewhat less scrappy now, but apparently, I didn’t have the foresight to actually close them last night.
I groan into my pillow and add it to the list of things to hash out with my past self.
