Another groan comes from the floor beside my bed, and I peer over to see Skyler throw an arm across her eyes. “Ugh, why didn’t you close the blinds?”
“Me? You’re the one who was supposed to be the responsible adult here,” I say, my voice coming out gritty.
My dad didn’t want me to be alone last night, but I refused to let Roman back in, so we compromised, and I called Skyler. After I explained what happened, she’d hung up and come straight over.
We stayed awake half the night drinking shitty wine and trash talking stuck up businessmen, and I don’t know whether it’s that or the crying that’s left me with the headache from hell. I push myself up on my arms and wince against the wave of pain in my head.
Satan go die and leave me some Advil.
Skyler grumbles but gets herself off the pillow nest she made on the floor and goes to close the blinds.
“Why were you sleeping on the floor?” I ask, trying not to furrow my brow because even that hurts.
“Says the person who kicked me off the bed three times.”
“Oh. Oops.” I let myself flop back down onto the mattress. “Does it make me a bad business owner if I ignore everything that needs to be done and stay in bed all day?” I’m never going to be able fix the shop anyway. Maybe I should just call time of death.
“Uh, Lola?”
I bury my face in my pillow. “I don’t want to be an adult,” I moan.
“Uh, huh. That’s really great but you might want to come see this.”
“Is it Satan with my painkillers?”
A clawed hand grabs my ankle and a demon, formerly known as Skyler, drags me off the bed. “Stop being crazy and get up.”
I land with a thump and force my aching bones into an upright, somewhat human like, position. Any remnants of sleep are washed away though when I look out the window and see the group of people gathered outside my shop.
I jerk back, pulling Skyler with me in case anyone looks up. “What are they doing here?” I stare at her, my eyes wide.
Skyler watches me like I’m a stray animal. “Well, from the power tools and the knight in shining cowboy hat I’d say they’re here to help finish the shop.”
“Ugh.” I press the heels of my palms to my eyes before pulling them away and risking another peek out of the window. My heart trips. Roman in a cowboy hat is not playing fair. He looks like he’s come straight from a photo shoot for the orchard (do orchard’s do calendars like firefighters? They really should) and he appears to have brought all of his pickers with him.
Mase, Jarred, Cooper, and some other guys who I’m pretty sure are Cooper’s MLB teammates, which sidenote, is insane, are here too.
“I can’t go down there,” I say. “I can’t let him clean up my mess for the one thousandth time.”
Skyler stuffs her hands into her hoodie and leans against the wall. “Okay, but hear me out. I get that you’re panicking at the moment because you’ve internalized a lifetime of people implying you’re not good enough, but is it possible you’re pushing Roman away because you’re scared he’s going to reject you again?”
My hands fall from my face. “No.” I stumble a step back to sit down on the end of the bed. “Maybe.”
Skyler slides down the fridge till she’s sitting on the floor opposite me. “You’ve been in love with him since you were a kid and the last time you tried to tell him that, he flat out said youand him could never be a thing. No one would blame you for being worried he’ll reject you again.”
“I was a stupid, chaotic teenager back then. I get why he turned me down.”
Skyler dips her chin and shrugs. “Maybe. But we’re all a little chaotic sometimes, even now we’re doing this whole adulting thing. Roman’s father is a dick, but I don’t think you’re really worried that you’re going to mess up Roman’s life. I think you’re scared that he won’t love you when you screw up.”
My stomach flips over. I’m used to screwing up and I’m used to people’s reactions when I do but the idea ofRomanlooking at me with that resigned disappointment makes my bones shatter.
“What if he doesn’t?” I ask, my words quiet in my tiny apartment.
Skyler rests her arms on her knees and leans forward, an odd smile on her lips. “Lola, the man is standing outside, at the crack of dawn, ready to help fix your trashed shop. Give him a little credit.”
I chew on my bottom lip. Skyler’s right, I know that really. I’ve been stressing for so long about the mistakes I made, and it turns out Roman already knew the worst thing I’ve ever done. Even helped me do it.
“Roman didn’t turn you down at eighteen because you were a mess. He turned you down because you were young, and his best friend’s little sister. And from what you told me about last night, Mase is over it andyouare a grown-ass woman.”
