“I wanted to talk to you before I left. I have many thingsto thank you for.”
“Ah, lass, no thanks are necessary. I did what I could with the gifts I am given. To do less would be to dishonor them.”
“Still,” Anice said, “I wanted you to know how much I have appreciated your help and the counsel you’ve given me these many years. I will miss you most of all, Moira.” Her eyes and throat burned with tears she did not want to shed. Of their own accord, they spilled out and ran down her cheeks.
“Here now, Anice, dinna greet. Life haes too much to offer to ye that ye should spend yer time crying.” Moira reached into a pocket and brought out a linen for her to use. “Mop yer tears and come to see my daughter.” Moira took her by the hand and tugged her to one of the alcoves, where a cradle lay.
“What have you named her?” Anice asked, looking at the sleeping babe.
“Jean, after Pol’s own maither. With all of Ramsey’s boys, she is the first girl born to him or his brothers.”
“She is lovely, Moira. Does she fare well?”
“Oh, aye. A bit of a rough start, but ye ken about those, dinna ye, Anice?”
She was about to ask another question when the door opened. Expecting to see Pol answering his wife’s call, she turned to greet him. In the doorway, Robert stood, just watching her as she watched him.
He looked horrible. His hair was pulled back away from his face and his arms and hands were nicked by many cuts and burns. A rough beard grew on his face, where none had been before, and he looked as though he had not slept since she last saw him that day in the solar. And, in spite of his betrayal, she drank in the sight of him.
“Come, Suisan, let me show ye where I just planted some new herbs.” Moira took her mother by the arm and steered her out the back door towards the gardens. If her mother wanted to object, she never had the chance.
She waited for him to speak, since he had so obviously arranged this with Moira. In truth, she could not think of one thing to say to him. And she could think of hundreds of questions she wanted to ask him at the same time. He clearedhis throat and finally spoke.
“I wanted to talk with ye before ye left Dunnedin. I hope ye will forgive Moira for her part in this?”
She nodded, knowing words would never escape from her mouth.
“Yer faither had many things to say that day—”
“And you did not deny any of them, Robert. Is that what this is for now?”
“Nay, I canna deny the truth he spoke, Anice. But I wanted ye to ken some of my side of things. Will ye listen?”
She stood on the opposite side of Moira’s high worktable from him. Keeping it between them made her feel safer. Nodding her head, she waited on his words.
“When I came here at Struan’s summons, I thought he might finally be ready to acknowledge me as his son. As ye ken, he did no’ and that refusal ate at me. Then watching ye and seeing how yer husband, my own brother, ignored and mistreated ye, I began to want ye for myself. Aye, at first, I admit to ye freely that ye were simply part of what he had that I wanted. I coveted my brother’s home, his place, and, aye, even his wife, But as I came to ken ye, I wanted ye because of the woman ye are, Anice.”
She thought she could control herself, but when faced with his words, she could not hold back the tears. They rolled down her cheeks and neck. “And the marriage? Ye did that for the position it offered ye?”
“I told Struan that I would no’ seek recognition from him because it would mean losing ye and I wanted ye more than anything. I wanted to make things right for ye. I wanted to undo the damage Sandy wrought on yer body and soul. Now ’twould seem that I only caused ye more pain and suffering.”
“What will you do now, Rob?” Her words came out on a sob.
“I have sent word to Duncan that I return to serve him if he will have me.”
“Of course he will. Lady Margaret will welcome you with open arms “
“Robena haes agreed to come with me to Dunbarton.”
“Truly? That might be good for her.” She had to ask thequestion that this news raised. “Will ye marry her, Robert?”
He took a step closer and she looked away. She did not want to hear the answer now that she had asked.
“She will no’ because she canna bear children, and I canna marry her, Anice, for I am already married. And annulment or no’, disavowing of the handfasting or no’, I took vows with ye and they will always bind my heart to yours.”
“It cannot be, Robert. You are my husband’s brother. It is all wrong.”
“I may have wanted ye for all the wrong reasons, but I loved ye for all the right ones, Anice. And I married ye for love. Not position or power. For love.”
