Robert lunged forward to challenge the MacNab, but Anice cried out in distress. It couldn’t be true, could it? Did Struan know? He must if her father knew. And he kept it from her? And the clan?
One look at Robert and Struan was enough to tell her it was true. She had married her husband’s brother, breaking one of the rules of God and church. How many marks could her soul take on it? Even now she was in peril of eternal damnation.
Robert said to trust him; he said she was safe with him. Was she? Was the bairn? Did he truly have designs on inheriting his rightful place in the clan at the cost of her babe’s life? Nay, he would not. He could not. He had saved their lives when he could just as easily have not given her aid and watched her and the bairn die.
“Anice,” Robert said as he started towards her, reaching out to grasp her hand. “Let me explain.”
She pulled out of his grasp, shaking her head. “Explain? Does my father speak the truth? Did you know when we married that I was your brother’s wife?” Even as she asked him, she knew the answer. It was not the lack of banns and witnesses that had him search out the old priest, it was her previous marriage to his brother. In the eyes of the church, she was his sister-by-marriage and even after his brother died, she was still beyond his reach.
“Aye, Anice,” he answered in a defeated tone. “I sought out Father Cleirach because I kenned we could no’ marry otherwise.”
Tears filled her eyes as she faced the end of everythinggood in her life. All the changes he’d brought about, all the joy, all the love.
“I did no’ do it to hurt ye or yer babe, Anice. Ye will ken that if ye think about it.”
“So, you did not think about the position you would hold here when you offered me your bargain?”
The look of guilt was so clear in his eyes that it hurt her to look at him. She could feel her hard-won control slipping away from her... control of her emotions, her choices, her life. She hadn’t felt this way since that night months ago when Struan first told her of her father’s plans to marry her else where and to turn her son over to Struan and the MacKendimens to raise. But where Robert had been her refuge from the insanity of that night, today he was the cause.
Mayhap if she had obeyed then, this crippling pain would not be hers to bear now. And now not only did her soul carry the dark sin of trying to take her own life, but now it also carried the mark of incest on it. Mayhap if she repented and confessed her sins and promised to obey, she could be forgiven? Blinking away the flood of tears that blinded her, she turned to her father.
“What would you have me do?” She heard Robert’s anguished groan and tried very hard to ignore it.
“Return with us and wait out the handfasting. I have already applied to the bishop for an annulment of this marriage on the ground of incest. Once the year and a day haes passed, we will find another suitable husband for ye.”
She almost feared to ask, but forced the words out. “And my bairn?” She thought Struan would answer; instead Robert’s voice interrupted.
“Struan, let her take the babe with her. I’m certain ye can arrange for a guardian to accompany them and see to his well-being while he is with the MacNab.”
Struan agreed and, with that, her entire life had changed. Gone was the future she’d only recently allowed herself to plan. One filled with happiness and a husband she loved and the children she gave him.
She finally noticed her mother tapping her on the shoulder. Turning to look at her, she realized they were donehere. Rising on shaky legs, she began to walk from the room. As she walked past him, she did not meet his gaze. Passing through the doorway into the great hall, she thought she heard him whisper her name.
The next dayswere all a blur of black and white, night and day, to her. Her father had planned a quick leaving, but she was so overwrought she could do nothing but sob. Moira was called and came as soon as she could; the only thing she could offer was a sleeping concoction that Anice took willingly. When she was asleep, she could dream wonderful dreams where everything was not black. Robert was in them and she could ignore the reality of their situation in favor of the temporary happiness she found there. Her milk dried up, probably from the shock, her mother said, and Craig was turned over to Emma to nurse.
If it rained outside or was fair, if meals were served or not, she did not know. She only knew the misery of Robert’s betrayal and the loss of all she once held dear. Her mother brought Craig to her in her room, but Anice could not gather the strength to play with her son. She was never left alone— either her mother or Firtha or one of the other women was always in the room with her. She did not know if they’d found out what she had tried to do before or not. However, she could not be bothered worrying about their presence.
The one person who she missed the most and at the same time dreaded seeing again was Robert. Part of her simply wanted to ride away without ever seeing his face again and yet another part of her wanted to throw herself in his arms and beg him to find a way that they could be together. Of course, that was impossible since he was truly Struan’s son and she’d already married his other son. Even the fact that he was a bastard son did not negate the church’s objection to their marriage.
How had she missed the resemblance between father and son? Now that she looked back in her memories, she could see it clearly. They shared many of the same expressions and bodymovements. And they were both as stubborn as sin. And what was the truth of his birth? She tamped down her curiosity. Although Robert had encouraged it, she was certain that whomever her father chose for her would not have such a liberal view of a woman’s role within marriage.
Anice decided to visit with Moira and see her new babe before she left Dunnedin. She had really not had the opportunity to speak with Moira while the healer tended her and there were many things left to be said between them. Three day after her father’s arrival, Anice felt up to a walk and left her room with her mother in tow, unwilling but accompanying her still. They would be leaving in two days’ time, she was told by her mother. Anything that needed to be done should be.
Anice walked through the village without raising her eye from the ground. She did not know what the clan knew of her and Robert’s situation, but she could not face the piteous looks that she knew were sent in her direction. Soon, Moira and Pol’s cottage came into view and she hurried her steps seeking the shelter it offered. Knocking on the door, she entered when Moira called out to her. If she was surprised to see her, Moira did not show it. But then too, not many things surprised the seer of the clan.
“Anice, ’tis good to see ye. Come in and sit.”
“Moira, may I make you known to my mother?”
“We have already met. Three nights ago.”
Her cheeks burned in embarrassment—they’d met when Moira was summoned to care for her. Of course they’d met.
“Will ye have some tea?” Moira wrapped her skirt around a large kettle on the hearth and lifted it to the table.
“Should you be doing that, Moira? You have just given birth.”
“I feel well, lass. I can do as I must, in spite of Pol’s thinking that I should be abed for days.” They chuckled and she seemed to remember something else. “I must send a message over to Pol.” Anice watched as she left the cottage and, through the open door, she heard her call one of the village boys over and send him off to Pol. “Now then, let’s take our ease for a few minutes. What brings ye here, Anice?”
