Struan paced back and forth across the room, clearly not done but planning another attack. He stopped and faced Robert with his fists on his hips.
“If she says that ye forced her to this, all yer subterfuge will be for naught.”
“Ye were the one who forced her, Struan. She ran away from yer plans to take her bairn from her and wed her to another man.” Robert crossed his arms over his chest. He would not be the one to relent in this.
“And ye mean to tell me that ye did no’ have this in mind? Ye dinna expect me to believe that ye never wanted her for yerself!” Robert must have let his guard slip and something show in his gaze for Struan latched on to his argument. “Does she ken ye want her because yer brother had her first? Does she ken that she is as much a pawn for ye as she would be for her faither?”
“She came to me, Struan, begging my help.” He strengthened his resolve not to show weakness.
“So, ye have no’ shared the truth of yer birth with her? She does no’ ken that ye covet her just as ye coveted yer brother’s place here in the clan? What do ye think she’ll do when she discovers yer secret?”
“And who will tell her? Surely no’ ye, for it will mean acknowledging me to the clan.” Struan opened his mouth to speak, but no words came out. “I would propose a bargainbetween us, Struan. For the good of the clan, of course.” Struan nodded and Robert continued.
“I will agree no’ to seek my place as yer son here if ye agree no’ to oppose this marriage. Actually, ye will need to go further than that. Ye will need to convince the MacNab to give us his blessing.”
Struan looked at him and burst out laughing. “The MacNab haes already begun negotiations for the contracts. He will no’ back down from those.”
“Then ye must find a way to make him see the wisdom in making his alliance using some other woman in his clan. Anice haes a cousin Wynda who is no’ yet married.”
“Why would I when I agree that this way suits both of us?”
Robert wanted to pummel the man for his complete disregard of Anice in this whole business. Her needs and wants were of no account in the face of his decision. He knew that this was the way of it, but surely her sacrifices for his family should count for something, some small consideration in this. Robert walked closer and reached in his sporran for the item he’d carried from Dunbarton. Placing the feathered end of the arrow in Struan’s hand, he stepped back and waited for his father’s reaction.
“Because, Struan, if ye share the truth of my parentage with Anice or support the MacNab’s pursuit of an annulment of our marriage, I will share with the clan the story told to me by a fletcher who left here the day after Sandy’s death.”
He got the reaction he knew would come. Struan looked at the arrow and then stumbled backwards into the table. His breathing became labored and his coloring turned gray. Although a laird was expected to be ruthless in his protection of his clan, most of Struan’s allies would think that the coldblooded murder of his own son was going too far. His father appeared to age before his eyes. Sinking into a chair, Struan rubbed his face and mumbled under his breath.
Robert remembered something Duncan had told him. “If the MacNab objects to my marrying his daughter, ye may want to remind him of his own climb to wealth and title by kidnapping Anice’s mother and keeping her against her willuntil she was pregnant. I am certain he does no’ wish his daughter to ken the truth of her beginnings either.”
When Struan said nothing more to him, Robert turned to leave. This extortion was distasteful to him, but necessary to ensure Anice’s safety here. A part of him wished that Struan could have just accepted him and accepted the marriage without argument. And another part of him still wanted the acknowledgment that he had just forsworn away. Stopping at the door, he asked the question that still haunted him.
“Why no’ me, Struan? Why could ye no’ accept me as yer son?” Robert swallowed deeply, trying to prepare himself for whatever words Struan said.
“’Tis of no consequence to ye now, Robert.”
“No consequence, ye say? When lives have been torn apart and lost? When yer son lies dead and buried and his widow is scarred for life by his depravity? Ye could have chosen me as yer heir. I was older. I was worthy. I could have done ye proud. Why could it no’ have been me?”
“I canna say any more than that, Robert.”
The feelings of the night when he discovered the truth came rushing back to him. The shocking news, the longing to be called son, the sinking despair as the acknowledgment did not come. His stomach rolled and his eyes burned with the same fury as they had that night over eight years ago. And the anguish of something precious lost to him forever tore through him once more.
He pulled open the door and ran out into the hall. He could not face anyone at that moment so he left, running to the stables and reclaiming Dubh from his groom. Leaping on his back without the use of a saddle, Robert gripped the horse’s mane and steered him by hand and leg out of the yard and gate and away from the village. Giving the horse his head, Robert stared through tear-filled eyes as the trees and bushes passed in a blur. Not even aware of his direction, Robert allowed the stallion to carry him where it would while he grieved for all he had lost.
26
She spent most of the day pacing in her chambers. She waited for some sign of how the meeting between Struan and Robert had gone, but no one spoke of it. Anice had looked through the window and seen Robert racing away on his stallion. She feared what that meant to her, to them, and waited, as he’d said to, in her chambers. Surely, if Struan meant to punish her, he would do so while Robert was absent from the keep. When no one came to drag her down to face the laird, she felt some semblance of relief. She knew she would have to wait for Robert’s return to gain the whole story.
The servants delivered her trunks and Robert’s an hour or so later. Anice hesitated to rearrange her chambers to accommodate him. For all she knew, he was out riding to gather his courage to tell her that she could go with him back to Dunbarton but that her son would remain with Struan.
Her apprehension threatened to take control of her and she knew it was that fear and tension that made her unable to nurse Craig. She tried several times throughout the afternoon, but each time he refused to latch on and draw nourishment from her. He fussed and cried and screamed out with anger and hunger and she became more and more nervous. She was tempted to send him out to the nurse who’d accompanied her here; however, she feared never seeing him again.
The room grew quiet and Anice looked up to see Robert standing in the doorway. Searching his face for some indication of what had transpired between him and the laird, she waited for his words.
“I would like to speak to Anice in private.”
The servants and Firtha looked to her for guidance. She nodded them out and watched as Robert closed the door. Craigstill screamed on her shoulder, but she could almost block out the sound of his cries while she waited on Robert.
“Here now, Anice. What ails him?” Robert asked as he lifted the babe from her and placed him on his own shoulder.
