“I went to see her because of you, Robert.” The surprise must have been clear on his face for she looked away and continued her explanation. “I have been looking for ways to show you the gratitude I feel for your part in saving my son’s life.” She paused for a moment. “And my own life as well. I knew she was your friend and offered her whatever she might need to make her life a more comfortable one.”
“What did she ask for? This?” Robert looked over to where Robena was seated.
“Nay. She asked for nothing. I told her to come to me if she did and then realized that my own words would keep her away. So, I said that the keep would be open to her as long as she did not ply her trade among the married men while here.”
“And ye did this for me?”
A frown filled her face and her brows gathered close together. He knew she was thinking of some personal darkness for it was there on her face clearly.
“I went to her because of you and then found I owed her adebt of my own.” Anice shook her head and then looked at him. “I have tried today to understand that she does her part for the clan as much as anyone else does here. I cannot condone it, but I am trying to accept it and to accept her. She is entitled as much as any MacKendimen to share in the bounty we have. Now,” she said, standing from her seat, “I am finished discussing her and need to see to my wee tyrant above.”
He rose next to her and waited for her to leave the dais. Another look was exchanged between her and Robena, which he did not understand at all. Well, if Anice would say no more, that was fine. He knew that Robena would tell him all he needed or wanted to know. She stood and left her bench, accompanied by one of the younger warriors. She would be busy for some time with the bairn so he left the keep and walked the perimeter walls to clear his head. But, the crisp air and brisk pace did not help him that night.
The fog swirleddown the paths and surrounded the cottages in its surreal grasp. A nearly full moon added its light to the landscape, but the rays could not penetrate to the ground. He walked among the shadows, down a familiar lane until he reached his destination. No lamp or fire burned within, so he quietly opened the door and entered. The fire was banked for the night and the first room was empty. He moved soundlessly until he found Robena on her pallet in the second room. Pulling off his plaid, he lay down next to her and fitted his body to hers. He covered them both with the woolen length and settled behind her for the night.
They’d begun sleeping together a few nights a week some time ago, each one wanting the pleasure of holding someone close. Rarely did it move beyond this for them now because even though she was willing, he grew uncomfortable with their sexual liaisons. Now, Robert knew she was awake, for as quiet as he could be, she stirred at the least sound or movement within her cottage. She moved against him, making herself more comfortable now that he had settled down.
“The Lady Anice owes ye a debt?” His words werewhispered, since his mouth was so close to her ear.
“Does she say so? I ken of no debt owed to me.” Robena let out a loud sigh and scrunched down into the cocoon he’d made around them with his body and plaid. “Truly, I would rather if we didna talk about it.”
He waited for another few minutes to pass and then tried again—he would know the details before morn.
“She must feel particularly beholden to ye for something to change her own orders about ye eating in the hall.”
“Rob, if I tell ye this, will ye never mention it again?”
He hesitated, now not certain if he should pursue this knowledge or not. Every instinct in him screamed of impending bad news. “Aye, I promise this will be the end of it.”
“Sandy returned to Dunnedin filled with anger. He was furious at Struan for delaying his marriage and sending him to England. He was furious at Anice for the part he thought she played in the delay and for what he thought had happened while he’d been away those years with King David.” Robena paused but he did not interrupt. “He and his Sassenach friends came here looking for some fun, as they called it, two nights afore the wedding.”
He tried to remain still, but he could not stop the tensing of his muscles. He shifted, trying to maintain a relaxed position around her. “And?” he asked, helpless to stop himself now.
“Well, I have had some rough ones afore, but they were no’ here for pleasure. Moira did what she could to patch me up afterwards.”
Pure rage built within him. Sandy again—and at the center of someone else’s torment. He tried to force his breaths in and out slowly but it did not help. As a warrior he knew not to let anger control him, but lying here listening to Robena’s calm recitation of her terrifying ordeal was more than he could bear. She turned in his embrace and massaged his arms. Then, reaching up, she touched him on the cheek.
“And this is why I have never mentioned it to ye. Or to anyone.”
“What injuries did ye have?” She hesitated and he squeezed her. “Tell me.”
“Rob. I am well now. Truly. Moira did her best for me and all is well.”
An underlying current of sadness tinged her words and he knew deep in his being that all was not well. And he knew also that until he knew the full extent of it, he would keep pushing for the truth.
“Robena, tell me what ye hold back from others. I am yer friend.”
She snuggled closer to him and tucked her head against his chest. If he had not been this near to her, he would never have heard her words. And then, once he did, he wished he had not.
“I canna ever have bairns of my own, Rob.”
Wave after wave of emotion passed over him and he struggled not to show her anything but the comfort she needed. The roar within him grew until he wanted to pummel his dead brother with his own fists. An arrow in the back was too good a death for the likes of him.
“How could ye do this again? How could ye take men to yerself after he did that to ye?”
She lifted her face to him and, by the light of the moon streaming in the small window in her chamber, he saw the tears running down her cheeks. “But what else can I do? Although a few of the men would be willing to marry me to gain children, now I canna even offer that. Whoring is all I have left.”
“Here now,” he said as he gently wiped the tears from her cheeks with the pads of his thumbs and stroked her hair back. “I want ye to ken that I would strangle him with my bare hands if he were here.”
