“I’m sorry Miss,” he says before disappearing behind the large doors. “You will have to come back tomorrow. She needs her rest.”
As the doors to the E.R. close behind him, a silence settles between the three of us. Even though I’m anxious to see her, to hold her, to tell her everything I had planned to say before receiving Gwen’s phone call earlier this afternoon - I try to rest in knowing she will be okay. I will see her tomorrow. We can still have forever. If she’ll let us.
Rex grabs ahold of Gwen’s elbow and starts leading her toward the exit. “I’ll drive you home, sweetheart.”. She doesn’t fight him, just leans in as he slowly gives her the strength she needs, and the two of them gradually make their way toward the parking lot.
I, however, make no move toward the exit. Standing in the waiting room, I find myself a mix of emotions. As the day’s events fuse together with the past and the future I want with the girl somewhere just behind those closed doors all I can do is hope.
Hope, after everything that’s been said and done, she’ll still have me.
Chapter Thirty-Two
Eva
“Sweetie, I’m telling you, it was all over Vogue - black and blue are in. A little bit of MAC, and some lip gloss, and no one will ever notice those bruises” Gwen teases as she sits in the chair across the room. I start to laugh, but I’m cut off by the pain which immediately fills my rib cage. Wincing, the nurse checking my vitals stops to monitor me. After a few short breaths, she waits until my face relaxes back to normal before going back to the work she was doing.
“Don’t make me laugh, I can’t take the pain,” I groan at Gwen, who watches over the nurse’s actions like a protective older sister.
I don’t know how she did it, but somehow Gwen snuck past security early and was let in to visit me a little after 6:30 this morning. I wasn’t sleeping, so the visit was a welcome surprise. Last night, after my mother, father and brother left, I fell asleep for a while, but woke up around 2 a.m. in horrible pain. When the meds the on-call nurse brought me finally kicked in, I was left with my thoughts. Thoughts of giving up everything I built my whole world around for someone I can’t live without.
“A few more hours until we can give you some more meds. Is there anything else you need?” the nurse asks as she finishes her tasks. I just shake my head. She picks up the water jug on the hospital table next to me and shakes it. “I will bring you some more water.” Glancing at Gwen she pauses briefly before looking back at me and making her way toward the door. “Try and get some rest, okay. You don’t need a lot of activity.”
I nod as she disappears behind the curtain blocking the doorway. Once she’s gone, Gwen immediately starts to make her way back to my side. She comes to a stop by my bed and takes a moment before speaking. “I don’t like her. She looks at me like I’m trouble.”
I smile. “You are trouble.”
She shrugs her shoulders and paces around the small bedroom space, glancing at my vitals, then at the items on the sink across the room. Finally, she makes her way to the window and stares out at the storm still brewing since yesterday. A look I can’t read hangs in her eyes.
“You okay?” I ask. She spins around to look at me, confusion hangs in her eyes, but behind it, there is sadness
“You’re asking me that, look at you,” she laughs gesturing toward the bed. “You need to focus on getting you better. Don’t you even think about me right now. I’m just glad you’re okay.”
She comes back over to the bed and sits down. Tears well in her eyes as she fidgets with a string on the hem of the blanket hanging off the hospital bed. Her phone alerts to a text, and I watch, wondering what she is hiding as she reads it quickly before looking up at me.
“Michael and Rex are on their way with your parents. I suppose Noah will be here soon, too.” Her eyes roll as she sets her phone back down next to her. My heart beats to an anxious rhythm at the thought of seeing Noah again.
“Noah?” I ask. “Was he here yesterday, too?”
Gwen shrugs, and I try to fight back the emotions her nonchalant shrug provokes. Sadness. Regret. Heartache. They rise inside until I find it hard to breathe. Pushing my feelings aside, I look across the room and stare at a crack in the wall.
“What happened yesterday?” Gwen asks. I glance over to see her finishing typing out a text. She sets down her phone and says, “Why were you driving so fast? What were you running from?”
My head falls back against the hospital bed as memories resurface. The phone call. The drive to Gatsby’s. Our fight. My need to outrace the world around me.
“Did he do this? Did he hurt you?” Gwen asks bitterly.
Did he? No. He didn’t. I hurt myself by never letting go. By continuing to chase a dream that eventually became so insignificant compared to our love. But, how do you put that into words? How do you explain something to someone that you are still struggling to understand yourself?
The more I wrap my brain around it, the more I sound childish, stupid, and selfish. Admitting I’ve made this mistake is more than just saying I’m sorry. It’s coming to terms with a person I can’t believe I let myself become. A person who was so wrapped up in themself, they couldn’t see all they ever wanted, all they ever dreamed, was already standing right in front of them.
“No,” I whisper. “Noah didn’t do this.”
“What happened then?” my best friend insists.
“I got a call for a job in L.A,” I explain, figuring the best place to start is at the beginning.
Gwen sits up tall. “What?”
I nod. Closing my eyes, I feel a few tears fall down my cheeks. I bring my right hand up and wipe them away, but they keep falling. Gwen stands and grabs some tissue. Handing it to me, she sits and waits to hear more.
