“The only easy day was yesterday,” I said, echoing Zane’s own motto.
Eventually, my doctor came back. “The scan is normal.”
I sat up. “So I can go?”
“As soon as the paperwork is done. And, young lady, I want you to have your boyfriend keep checking you just like last time.”
My boyfriend. The words stung and I had to fix that.
CHAPTER 43
Zane
I was on the couch,pouring my second glass of bourbon when the doorbell rang. It was probably another of Mom’s Amazon deliveries. I swore she got more stuff delivered here than she did at her own house.
The liquor was to help me forget what I’d just done. Beer would have been my normal choice, but I needed something quicker to erase the stink of failure I felt. I never should have allowed myself to get close to Peyton.
The bourbon hadn’t affected me enough yet. I knew easily thatclosewas the wrong word. I’d fallen in love with my angel, the woman I had to protect by pushing her away. It was my duty. Duty fucking sucked today.
I was a fucking SEAL before anything else, and a SEAL always puts the welfare of others ahead of his own. A SEAL’s word was his bond, and I’d promised her I’d keep her safe, which now meant keeping her away from me.
I ignored the burn and drained the glass in my hand before going to the door to get the damned package before the porch pirates struck. One of these days, I swore I was going to set up one of those exploding dye packages to catch the fucker who’s twice gotten to my deliveries ahead of me. Maybe I’d add skunk spray to the package as well. That would serve the fucker right.
When I yanked the door open, it wasn’t a delivery.
“We have to talk,” Peyton said firmly as she rushed past me and into the house.
I pivoted and left the door open. “We talked. There’s nothing more to say. You shouldn’t be here.”
Spying the coffee table, she walked over, picked up my bottle and waved it. “Really? Afternoon drinking?”
I followed her. “I can drink whenever I want.” I yanked it out of her grasp and took a gulp straight from the bottle.
“A man once told me there were only two reasons to drink to excess. Either to celebrate or to forget, so which is your reason?”
If I wanted to be mean, I could say to celebrate being done with guarding her, but I knew I couldn’t pull off that lie. “If your only reason for being here is to annoy me, you’ve succeeded and can leave.” I pointed at the door.
Instead, she sat down on the couch. “We need to talk.”
Setting the bottle down, I repeated, “We have, and since you’re now safe, I don’t see what else there is to talk about.”
“I want to talk about us.”
“Like I said, we have. I want you to leave now.” I wouldn’t be able to take much more of her here without breaking. Hours in the cold surf at BUD/S had nothing on the torture of treating her as coldly as I needed to so that she’d be safe.
“Zane.” Her glare was intense. “If you thought I was going to accept this without a fight, you thought wrong. I will not let you walk out of my life without even an explanation, and a chance to fix it.”
“I said no. Now go.” How sick a bastard was I that after the terrible ordeal she’d just been through, I was adding to her pain?
“No. I deserve better.” She did. That was what made this so hard. But any explanation would lead to her fighting me on my decision, the one I knew was right, the one she didn’t get to second guess.
The dejected look on her face as she stood gutted me, but being mean now was the best way to keep her from being physically hurt. I had to be strong for her.
“Out,” I repeated. “Maybe we can talk next week.” And next week, I’d put off again and again until she gave up.
Peyton
His angry tonesaid it all. I’d tried, and failed, to get through to him. His outstretched arm didn’t waver. “Out, now unless you want me to carry you out.”
