Nothing was more important than that.
Peyton
I wipedat my tears with the corner of the hospital bedsheet and lay in the bed stunned. How could it be that Zane was no longer my man? How could I have misread the signs so badly?
Closing my eyes, I replayed what he’d said. Just before the cops had arrived, he’d asked me if I planned to go back to Boston. I hadn’t had a chance to answer.
I should have told him all I wanted was to stay with him. Had I somehow blown it by not blurting that out when I had the chance? I should have yelled it across the room, goddammit.
For five minutes, maybe longer, I went in mental circles wondering what I could have done differently, or how I’d misunderstood his feelings for me, then my grief morphed into anger— anger at him for just leaving, and anger at myself for falling for the brute.
Thinking back, the seeds of this had been there all along. He wasn’t a liar, that much I knew, and he’d said he’d be out of my hair when I was safe.
I’d misread his devotion to my safety as caring for me when all I’d been was a job, a responsibility. A responsibility that was now over.
The curtain pushed open, but instead of Doctor Holland, it was Lucas Hawk. “How are you doing?”
I sniffled and wiped under my eyes. “Shitty,” I admitted.
“Where’s Zane?”
“He left,” I sobbed out.
Lucas moved to stand by my bed and took my hand. “Talk to me. What happened?”
His hand was warmer than I’d imagined it would be. This man, whom everyone feared, had suddenly shifted into comforting mode just when I needed somebody to talk to.
“He broke it off.”
“Idiot,” Lucas scoffed.
I almost laughed at Lucas’s one-word answer.
“Did he say why?”
My facade of strength crumbled into sobbing speech. “He said he wanted me to be safe, and now that I was, he would be out of my hair.”
“That’s bull.”
I took a corner of the blanket and wiped my eyes. “I thought he cared. I mean, when we were alone together, it was like nothing I’ve ever felt before.”
“He does care. It’s obvious as hell every time he looks at you.”
“But he said?—”
“Forget that,” Lucas insisted. “He’s scared. Sure, he’s a SEAL, and he’ll say he’s not afraid of anything. Hell, he’ll run straight into a deadly firefight, or wrestle an alligator for you, but he’s scared of how the nightmares will affect him.”
“Nightmares?”
Lucas grabbed a tissue from the table, sat on the edge of the bed, and dabbed at my cheek. “It hasn’t been long. He’s been in hellish places and lost comrades in arms. He’s afraid of hurting you if you wake him when he’s in that state. I had the same problem when I first got out.”
“You did?”
“It’ll take time, but he can beat it.”
“I had no idea.” I blinked back my tears with the realization that I had a chance.
“It’ll be tough. He’ll want to fight you on this. You’ll have to be strong.”
