“Yeah Ben,” Charlie chimes in. “When is your cute ass going to take me out on a date?”
The truck goes silent. I’ve been good about keeping Charlie in the dark about my tragic past. And I know these guys wouldn’t tell her anything without talking to me first.
Max clears his throat. “Maybe you should just tell her dude.”
“No.”
“C’mon Ben,” Max urges.
“You fuckin’ tell her then.” I can feel my cheeks flushing, so I stare out the passenger window and refuse to look at any of them.
“Tell me what?” Charlie demands.
“Ben doesn’t really date,” Andy murmurs into her ear.
“Why?”
“It’s a long story Charlie. I still think it would be better if Ben told you, but basically Ben was in love with his high school sweetheart. When she graduated college, they made plans to go camping and she was in a car accident on her way out to meet Ben. She didn’t make it, and Ben has been punishing himself for it ever since.” Max informs her, keeping his eyes on the road.
“It’s way more complicated than that,” I grumble at Max.
“Yeah well, why don’t you tell her the story then?” Max snipes back.
“No,” I say again, like a petulant child. I hate that I’m like this, but I never seem to be able to stop myself when Mara gets brought up.
I feel a soft touch on my shoulder. “Hey,” Charlie’s voice is gentle. “You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to. I’d likeit if you did, because I want to know you better. But you don’t have to, and I won’t force it.” She gives my shoulder a reassuring squeeze before settling back into her seat.
“Sorry.” I am forever the mood killer.
“Don’t be,” Charlie murmurs from the back seat.
Thankfully, I’m saved from more awkward silence as we pull into the driveway at home. Max hasn’t even turned off the engine before I’m out of the truck and pulling stuff out of the back. I hear Charlie say something about making us all hot chocolate and watch her head into the house.
“You’re such a dick,” Andy snarls the moment the front door clicks closed. “You say you’re cursed but I think the real curse is the fact that you’re punishing those around you by punishing yourself. You know damn fucking well what happened wasn’t your fault. Not with Mara and not with your mom either.”
“Screw off dude.” I’m not in the mood for this.
“I’m not done,” Andy declares, getting in my face. “Charlie is a nice girl. She likes all of us. She wants all of us. You’re the hold out here over something she has nothing to do with. She deserves better than your hot and cold attitude. Either let her in or leave her alone.”
“And how am I supposed toleave her aloneif she’s always around because of you guys?”
“Not my fucking problem dude. Yours. But between your two options one seems pretty lonely, and the other gives you a friend and probably some really good sex if you play your cards right. And we all know how long it’s been since you’ve had some of that.”
“Might help loosen you up a bit,” Max chimes in. Unhelpful bastard.
I let out a loud sigh. Deep down, I know they aren’t wrong. But they just don’t get it. Neither of them has met the love of their lives yet, never mind losing them. I want Charlie. I’ll admit that now. I want her so bad it physically fucking hurts. She’s beautiful, smart, and funny. She reminds me so much of Mara, and that hurts too. My conflicting feelings are a bundle of knotsthat press against my chest, suffocating me.
“Mara would want you to be happy man,” Andy mutters.
Andy and Max head towards the garage, arms full of the fishing supplies. I drop what I’m holding and make my way into the house, following Charlie’s trail in the snow. I find her standing at the kitchen counter, facing away from me and humming to herself.
“Hey,” I murmur, and she turns around to face me.
“Hey. You okay?” I don’t like how cautious she sounds.
I nod, not sure what I was planning to do now that I am actually face to face with her.
“Hot chocolate is almost ready,” she tells me, shifting uncomfortably. I hate that I made her feel that way.
