But because of how it looked.
Because of the timing.
Because I know her tells, the quiet ones, the ones no one else sees.Her shoulders were tight, her mouth pinched, and her eyes were dim instead of being bright like they usually are.
She wasn’t okay last night.
And I wasn’t there.
And she hasn't said anything.
I texted her three times before I brushed my teeth.
Me:Miss you.
Me: Show me where you are working today.
Me: You good?
She replied once:
Red: I’m good.Just tired.Can’t wait to see you tonight.
I read it ten times.
It felt… off.Like she polished the edges of something before handing it to me, and I hated it.
We fly back to Summit City and go straight to training; it is fucking hell.
Every stride feels wrong, legs heavy, mind floating somewhere near prairies nestled between mountains, where she is, where I want to be.
Colby snaps at me for missing a pass.“Jesus, Carson, wake up.”
“Get off my fucking back,” I snap before I can stop myself.
He skates back, hands up, studying me with this look that says he’s clocking things I haven’t said out loud.Anders watches me too long in the next drill, and I hate it.I hate feeling vulnerable, worst, showing it, being readable, exposing myself like this.And most of all, I hate that I am in this situation because of my choices, but I don't know how to get out.
After practice, I duck into the quiet of the hallway to breathe, but PR’s already camped outside the locker room like predators scenting blood in the water.
“Nate!Five minutes?Quick update?”
She hands me a folder, no...a fucking binder.It feels too heavy, weighted.
“Tessa integrations,” she says, like it’s dessert.
“Halloween game content suggestions.Date-night options with strong PR advantages.Holiday couple features and a season-long plan.We would like her to attend more games and to integrate the two of you into our charity events this year.Strong numbers on your away-game kiss...”
“Enough.”It comes out sharper than I intended.
"Nate, I was asked..."
“Not right now.”
She blinks, startled.“We… just wanted you two included...”
“I know.But not right now,” I say quietly.
And I walk away, because if I stay, I’ll say things I can’t take back, and none of this is her fault; it’s mine.
