The last thought slips in like a whisper I can’t silence:
What if this time… you ignored the warning signs?
And what if that’s the thing that breaks you?
I don’t have the answer.
But I pull the pillow that has become his into my arms and hold on tight.
Because even with the unease chewing at the edges of my certainty…
I’m still all in.
Chapter 28 - Nate
I don’t remember the last time my body felt rested.I am not just tired; tired is normal when you do what I do.This is something else.A bone-deep heaviness I can’t shake, like I’m carrying myself in pieces and hoping no one notices.
A month into the season, everything becomes a loop.practice, media, nutritionally planned meals, preventative physio, gym, away games, home games, hotel rooms and...repeat.
But I’ve always handled it.Fucking thrived in it.This is what I have worked so hard for, what I have justifiedeverythingfor.
This year, though…
It feels like the air is thinner.Like something is pressing against my ribs from the inside.
And I know exactly when it started...
The moment the team realized the world adored the idea of Tessa and me.It started as a recommendation, a potential, excitement around how everyone loves her.
But now...
Now she’s everywhere in the marketing decks.In every conversation.Every “quick question” from PR.And none of themknowher.
Knowus.
None of them sees that she’s soft in places the world shouldn’t be allowed to touch, that she doesn't let anyone butmesee.
I woke up this morning in a hotel that could be anywhere, sheets cold beside me, and the first thing I did wasn’t check the time or my schedule, it was reach for my phone.
I wanted to see if she’d messaged.
I wanted her name like oxygen.
I missed her.Missed home.Not my penthouse, but the comfort I found in her house in Hawthorne Ridge.
Instead, I sawtheclip.
Two videos spliced together by someone online with too much time:
The left side showed me scoring last night.Right after I score my goal, as I am skating around the rink in celebration, I look right into the camera, tap my chest, mouthing,That’s for you, Tessa.
And on the fucking right side...Tessa at Adam’s Pub.Someone there must have been filming her without her knowledge.She's in a booth with Chase.He leans in, saying something to her.She looks away, wiping under her eyes with her sleeve, as if she's angry or overwhelmed and trying to hide it.
And the caption: “Cracks already showing?”
My stomach hit the floor so hard I was glad I was lying down.
Not because the video meant anything.Because I knew it didn't fucking mean anything.Not like what the asshole on social media was selling it.
