I didn’t check it.
I couldn’t.
The knock at my door comes mid-morning.Three sharp raps.
My pulse jumps, and a wave of nausea washes over me.I steel my spine and get ready for who I know is on the other side of my door.
Nate stands there, and he looks nothing likemyNate.But maybemyNate was the lie.Maybe he only existed because it was what I needed to be a part of his world.
His eyes are bloodshot, his hair a mess, and last night’s clothes still on, like he didn’t even try to pretend he slept.
He looks broken.And it almost breaks me again.
“Tessa…” His voice is sandpaper.“Baby, please...”
“Don’t,” I whisper.
He takes a shaky breath, steps inside without invitation.“We need to talk.I can’t...”His voice cracks.“I can’t lose you.I’ll fix everything.I swear to God, I’ll quit.I’ll pay the penalties.I’ll walk away from all of it if that’s what it takes.”
It hits me like a physical blow.Because a tiny part of me, the part still bleeding for him, wants to say yes.Wants to melt into him and pretend last night was all some twisted nightmare.Wants to believe quitting changes anything.But that’s the part of me that loved with no guardrails.I can’t trust her anymore.
“You don’t get to decide today that you’re done being the version of yourself you chose over me for months,” I say, voice shaking but steady.“You don’t get to burn your whole life down out of guilt and call it love.”
“It’s not guilt...”
“Yes, it is.”
He flinches.
“Why now, Nate?If I mattered.If we were actually real.You would have said no right out of the gate.If walking away or saying no was ever an option for you, you would have done it by now.You would have been honest with me.”I continue, softer, “If you quit for me, you will resent me.Eventually.Even if you don’t see it yet.And I will spend years paying for a sacrifice I never asked for.”
“That’s not fair...”
“Fair?”I laugh, but it sounds hollow.“Nothing about this has been fair, Nate.Not the lies.Not the way you kept me in the dark while they usedmeto boostyournumbers.You had so many chances to tell me.”
He tries to reach for me.I step back, "Please don't touch me, I can't...I keep thinking about everything.I keep picturing every moment.And it was what?A show?Fake?"
His voice cracks, “We weren’t fake, Tess.Don’t say that.I love you.”
I swallow hard, as pain flares in my chest.I can see the pages in the binder, like they burned themselves into my mind.
“Do you?”I whisper.“Or do you love the version of me that fits the narrative they needed?”
His face pales, but I press on, because if I stop, I’ll shatter.
“Tell me something honestly,” I say.“When they replace me… will you love her too?”
He freezes.“What are you talking about?”
“Your alternate.”I gesture around the empty space between us.“The next woman they put beside you.The one who checks the boxes.The one who fits whatever storyline sells best.What qualities does she need?Quiet?Grounded?Blonde?Brunette?Tragic past for emotional engagement?Someone who won’t question anything?Do they get specific about body type or sexual kinks?Will you whisper her name and tell her you love her while you fuck her?”
His breath stutters like I hit him.“Tessa...stop...”
“No,” I snap, louder than I mean to.“I need you to hear this.Because I didn’t know I had competition with a brand board.I didn’t know you were being handed dating strategies.I didn’t know I was being integrated into a campaign.I didn’t know I was something to leverage.”
His jaw tightens until it shakes.
“Dates Nate.Things I thought you planned for me.Gifts.All of it.There was a whole page on public displays of affection.Did you even want to kiss me, or were they all for optics?"I don't let him answer, I can't."That isn’t love, Nate,” I whisper.
