“Sleep well, Raelynn,” I whisper.
Amon gives me a soft little smile, glancing at my bonds who still haven’t said a word. He may not have seen the memory, but this silence is unnerving, it’d be clear to anyone that something has changed.
When I step away and out of the room, they follow once more. Which means finally—for the first time since our bonded reveal—it’s just us.
Me and my bonded.
Together in the middle of the lavish atrium, beneath the glass ceiling where birdsong weaves through golden rays of light.
It should feel serene. But the picturesque scene is tainted by a silence that refuses to leave, filled with guilt so thick it’s hard to breathe.
I glance from one man to the next as it rolls off them in waves. It’s Ezekial’s that’s the strongest, crashing around him.
Because even after my words, some feelings cannot be soothed away. Some, you just have to endure.
“We need to return to the Pit,” Kane says. His gaze flickers to me, and the furrow of his brows tells me he didn’t want to say it.
“We need Lucanus to confirm there’s no more of the Order in this district,” Julien elaborates in a low murmur, eyes distant.
We all hear him, but his heart isn’t in it, like he’s mindlessly speaking.
“And we have to gonow?” Sai’s gaze darts feverishly between the men, then me. But it doesn’t hold, quickly slipping away.
“Yes.” Kane’s voice is strangely soft as he adds, “Unfortunately.”
“He won’t last much longer,” Ezekial confirms quietly. His gaze is fixed somewhere far away, eyes haunted by a vision only he can see.
And although they’ve all confirmed their need to leave, no one moves.
Because they’re all trapped, trapped in a cycle of vicious self-loathing, each one grappling with their own version of guilt as they replay what happened.
Sai’s emotions hit the hardest. The thought of hurting me… it’s eating him alive. There’s this hopelessness, a sense of futility. That no apology will ever be enough. That he’s already lost me.
It’s too much. I can’t bear it. I need to stop this spiral, to pull them all back from the edge, show them that there’s a way forwards.
That Iwantthere to be.
“You need to go.” Everyone, everything, stills at my voice. “All of you, I’ll stay here—”
Their eyes snap to me, and it’s like a physical blow. I don’t need to guess what they’re thinking when I can feel it. The shock, the disbelief. Thehurt.
I don’t want them to go, but they need to. Because if I try to soften their feelings now, they’ll know. And they’ll fight me, because it’s all too fresh and raw, because they believe they deserve this ache. Even after everything I’ve said.
“I’ll take care of the creatures,” I add quickly, trying to hold a semblance of normality. “And I’ll check in on Amon with Kacey and Raelynn.”
That doesn’t help. They bristle at my simple suggestion, all their shoulders stiffening.
“Don’t.” I level them all with a stern stare. “Don’t do that.” They say nothing, but the tension winds tighter. “Don’t act like I’m some fragile woman who can’t handle herself.” My gaze sharpens. “Equals, remember?”
Shame slips into their expressions, except maybe Kane, who just watches me.
“I also think it would be good to have a bit of… processing time,” I say lightly, gently, maybe too gently.
The room darkens.
I cough out an awkward laugh, trying to break the building tension. “Just a bit. We’ve had some pretty life-alteringrevelations, right? We all need a change of scenery, some time alone to breathe, to think—”
Sai’s in front of me in an instant, his eyes wide, wild, face contorted with pure panic.
