He sat still, a little stunned. She articulated that far better than he even could have. And he knew that if she didn't agree with the biblical mandate for marriage, where the husband was the head and the woman was submissive to the husband, while the husband loved the wife and gave himself for her the way Christ loved the church and gave himself for it, he wouldn't try to talk her into it. It would've been a no-go for him. But there she was, surprising him again.
That was the last piece, and everything settled down into his soul, and being with Olivia felt exactly right.
He wasn't so naïve as to think that Olivia had shed all of her doubts.
He cleared his throat. Where should he start?
"I am surprised to hear you say that, but I agree with you. But I do think that a lot of times in modern society men neglect their role. They think they're supposed to be the big boss in charge, and that the little lady is supposed to just do whatever he wants her to, and she ends up being a slave where he has her waiting on him hand and foot, because he's the king of the castle or whatever, and I don't agree with that at all. The Bible says that a man is supposed to love his wife the way Christ loved the church and gave himself for it. It also says that a man is supposed to dwell with his wife according to knowledge. That means a man is supposed to learn what his wife likes and dislikes, and to live with her according to that knowledge, catering to her likes and dislikes. And it also says that a man is supposed to love his wife the way he loves his own body, and cares for it. And the same way—just like I would not make myself... if I don't feel like jumping up and getting a drink of water or taking care of the children, then for me to command my wife to do that is wrong, because I'm not taking care of her the way I'm taking care of my ownbody, since my body is sitting on the couch being all comfortable. So, to expect her to wait on me, when I'm not waiting on her, is wrong. So, while I do believe that the woman is supposed to submit to the man and reverence him, and the man is the head of the home, that doesn't mean that the man is some king, and the woman is just his slave to be treated as such. She's supposed to have a place of honor at his side. But he does have the final say in the decisions, and if she doesn't agree with them, she goes along anyway."
Through all of that, Olivia had been nodding. Like she agreed with everything.
He had completely forgotten about his hot chocolate, because he'd been so engrossed in their conversation. And maybe even invested in it, because for the first time, he felt like she was the one. The one God had for him, the one God wanted him with, and the one who had been created for him.
But he had a lot at stake, because she had given no indications that she felt anything like that.
"Is there anything that we disagree on?" she asked, tilting her head and smiling a little. That smile gave him hope.
"I don't know about that, but as we were talking," he took a deep breath, because he was going to be laying himself out there, and if this didn't work out, these words were going to be out of his mouth and he could never take them back. "Everything seemed like it fell into place, and I felt like God was saying you were the one. Even before you agreed with that last thing I said, I felt like God was telling me to just trust Him and go with it." He blew a breath out. "But I don't expect you to make a decision that fast. Maybe God hasn't shown you anything, and maybe I'm just being hopeful, because I really, really like you."
He wasn't sure what else to say, so he shut up. He wasn't the slightest bit hungry, and although he loved hot chocolate, he let his sit on the coffee table. Waiting.
Chapter 23
Olivia sat on the couch across from Mark, trying to squelch the growing hope in her chest. Could this really be the man God had for her? Could he really be interested in marrying her? Her? Someone who had absolutely zero qualifications to be a pastor’s wife... They needed to talk about that.
"You're a pastor. You need a wife who is going to help you in the ministry. I have no qualifications and absolutely no skill in that area."
He leaned back a little, seeming to be confident now, his arm casually leaning on the armrest of the chair, his eyes always on her.
It was funny—that didn't make her nervous. It actually made her feel warm and... seen in a way that she hadn't felt seen in a long time.
"I think you're perfect."
That was it? That was all he was going to say? She hadn't quite figured out how to answer him when he continued.
"You're right, I would hope that my wife would be willing to help me in the ministry. Being a pastor is really a family occupation. Our kids would be involved in church, my wife would be involved inchurch. It's not the kind of job where I go to work and no one else ever sees anything that I do. It's the kind of job where I need my family with me. People are going to be looking at me and my family, and judging us based on our actions. I suppose you might want to think twice, whether or not you want to be involved in that. Sometimes it's like living in a fishbowl. People expect to be able to walk into your house," he waved around the living room, where she knew that people had been in and out all week as they stayed in the activity center. "People knock on my door, all hours of the night. Sometimes they need a bed, sometimes they just need food, sometimes they're having a domestic emergency. They'll call me over—a couple who's having marital issues will call me to their house as they're throwing plates at each other and threatening to hurt each other."
She shuddered. Unable to imagine such a thing. She had gotten mad at Cam more than once in their marriage, but throwing plates?
"You're kidding, right?" she finally said.
One corner of his mouth turned up. He shook his head. "No, unfortunately, I am not."
"Were you able to help?" she asked, thinking that maybe she wasn't as worldly as what she thought. After all, she'd never seen a domestic dispute where people were actually throwing things at each other. Yelling and screaming, and getting in their car and storming off, yes, but throwing stuff?
"No. Unfortunately, that couple divorced, and the wife had to get a restraining order against the husband... actually, the husband had to get a restraining order against the wife."
"The husband?" she asked, shocked again.
He nodded. "Do you see why I need to protect myself? That's why we had to have this talk."
She laughed. Able to tell by his tone that he was joking.
"I think it sounds like there are some really scary women in the world."
"There are. Sometimes I feel like the women are worse than themen, although I know that's mostly not true. Although... I do think toxic feminism has decimated a lot of homes. I know I could get in a lot of trouble for saying that, but it's true."
She nodded. She could understand what he was saying. Women had a tendency to take over and start bossing.
