"It was a big day yesterday."
He nodded. "But I thought it went well. Hopefully today goes just as well. I haven't checked. Is it still snowing?" He glanced out the window but couldn't really tell. The streetlights were off.
"Yes. I opened the door just to see how deep it was, and I'd say we've got a foot, maybe closer to eighteen inches."
"Wow. It's not messing around."
"No. I glanced at the weather on my phone, and it said it should be ending this evening."
"How much are we supposed to get in the meantime?"
"We could get up to another two feet," she said, shuddering.
He sighed.
"Are you okay?" she asked, stepping closer and putting a hand on his forearm.
He felt her nearness like a comforting blanket. And her hand on his arm felt steady and warm.
"Yeah. I guess I just... I worry that I'm not going to live up to what Pastor Johnson was, you know?"
He didn't even realize he was going to say something like that. But it was true. So much of him wondered if the church people were looking at him and finding him lacking.
"I don't think you need to worry about that."
"He was so much wiser than I am. Sometimes wisdom is just something that you gain with age, the more time you spend with God. And I don't have as much as he did. I don't have the time with the Lord that he did, and maybe I don't have the heart for people. Maybe I don't have what it takes to lead a bigger congregation. My last church was really small."
"If this is where God called you, this is the job that he wants for you—it doesn't matter whether you think you're qualified or not. God will give you what you need. And whatever you are is exactly what you need to be right here in this moment."
He stared at her. He knew all of that. She wasn't telling him anything that he didn't know. He just forgot sometimes. Needed someone to point him back to God and the Bible. Not to give in to his fears and give voice to his insecurities and tell him that they were normal. They were, of course. Every great man of God had times where he despaired or was depressed or felt fear. Wondered where God was, even.
"Thank you. I needed that reminder," he finally said, still wondering where she got the wisdom to set him straight. "I think most people wouldn't have said that to me."
"I guess I'm not most people," she said, lifting a shoulder. "Honestly, I'm a little scared myself. After all, I got the last-minute Christmas candlelight service order to do. And then, yesterday I just agreed to do another huge order. I don't even know if I'm going to get paid for that one. We talked about sales and tickets and that type of thing, but I know that they're starting this with no money. So if they don't make anything, am I gonna demand that I still get paid? After all, the idea was partly mine. I should take a little risk too. But at the same time, I can't really afford to lose a whole lot." She paused, and then she said, "But through it all, I know that God's going to take care of me. I know that."
"That's great. So many people just don't have that kind of trust. I hear people say, 'Where is God? Why is he allowing me to go through this?'"
"I don't really question that about my actual life. Not too much anyway. Because I know that God didn't put me here on earth to have a life of ease and luxury. He wants me to work for him. But he also wants to grow my faith, and test it some."
"That's true. I think, especially in our American way, we've lost sight of the idea that life isn't about us and our comfort and our security and our ease and our prosperity. The prosperity gospel probably has something to do with that."
"Yeah. There are grains of truth in it, and it can be very helpful for some people, but it also makes it when bad things happen, people doubt God."
He couldn't believe that they were so aligned on that issue. It was rare for him to find men of God who were so grounded in the truth, and yet here was this woman in front of him who seemed perfectly at ease discussing it with him. And he couldn't deny the bit of attraction that had been flowing between them. Whether she felt it too, he didn't know.
At some point, her hand had dropped off his arm, but he was so focused on what she was saying that he hadn't noticed.
"You probably shouldn't get me started. I could go on all dayabout the things that modern Christians believe that aren't biblical at all."
"We could go on all day together then, because I have a few pet peeves myself. Not the least of which is that we have to put up with sin, when God clearly said that we're to hate sin. And that we are to strive to be holy."
"Oh yeah, people think that they shouldn't be doing anything to be holy, that God will do it all. And I guess I would have to challenge those people, because I don't see that anywhere in the Bible. Man always has to follow God by faith before God works. That's the formula. It requires a deliberate choice and action on our part."
"Agreed. I have to say I'm impressed."
"With what?" she asked, sounding truly surprised.
How did he say it? At her wisdom? At her knowledge of the Bible? And how what she believed aligned with what he did?
