I’m here.
“Can you guys stay here?” I ask them, not giving them anything else before I walk out the door and I see him walking up the driveway. He’s wearing jeans and a white T-shirt. I haven’t seen him in five days and I practically run to him. He wraps his arms around me and his mouth finds mine.
His tongue slides into my mouth as my front is pressed to his. “Hi,” he says when he lets go of my mouth, but not of me, his hand coming up to touch my face, “missed you.”
“I missed you.” I put my hand to his throat. “Did you get my notes?” While I was there this week, I left him little notes about missing him, all through the house. One in the kitchen, another one on his side table, and another one in the bathroom. I even left one on the garage door.
He laughs. “I liked the one that said I ate cereal leaning over the counter and no one tried to do me.” I rub my finger over his lips as we laugh together.
“It was shocking,” I retort as he turns me in his arms and we walk to the front door. “I ate the whole bowl and the only one I had to worry about was Jefferson trying to get the milk.”
We walk up the steps and head into the house, my parents waiting where I left them. My father’s shoulders go back, as he takes in the way I’m holding on to Kirby while my mother’s eyes look like they are going to fall out of her sockets. “Hey,” I say to them, my arm falling from around his waist and then slipping into his hand. “I would like you guys to meet Kirby”—I look up at him—“my boyfriend.” Kirby’s eyes look into mine and his eyebrows go up like, “Oh, we’re doing this.”
“Boyfriend,” my father says, his voice tight. “What?”
“It’s a pleasure to meet you, Mr. Petrov.” He extends his hand and my father just looks at it.
“Viktor,” my mother hisses, “shake his hand.”
He extends his hand reluctantly. “Lexi,” he says my name and I hold up my hand.
“I know it’s not what you think I should do.” I cut through all the tension. “Jumping from one man to the other isn’t a smart thing. That I should take time to find myself. Be by myself. Get to know myself.” I take a deep inhale. “But he’s helped me through all of that and gives me the space to still figure it all out. Sometimes we find someone we needed all along, and it’s hard to walk away from them.”
“Are you trying to convince us or yourself?” My father folds his arms over his chest.
“I’ve been in therapy since I left Trent. I’ve taken the steps I needed to take, and I’m working on trusting myself and my decisions.” I stare at him. “I know you must be doubting me right now because you had to rescue me not too long ago. I’ve doubted myself for the last ten years, and I’ve lived in almost a fear of who I wanted to be and who I was. I’m not living like that anymore. I’m me and this is who I want.” I look up at him, wrapping my arm around his waist and then rubbing his back. “I love him.”
thirty-four
Kirby
I stand beside her, not saying a word, as she talks to her father. Her mother’s eyes go to her and then come to me and then back to her daughter, her hand firmly in her husband’s. “I love him.” My head turns to look back down at her. This is the first time she’s said she loves me. I thought for sure she liked me a lot, but she never told me she loves me. My face fills with a smile and I feel like my heart is going to literally come out of my chest, and I can’t stop myself from leaning down and kissing her.
“I love you,” I say softly and she shakes her head.
“Not now,” she says before turning back to look at her parents. “He’s a wonderful man and he treats me with respect and kindness and, most importantly, he makes me feel good about myself. He makes me feel like I’m worthy of my life and the happiness I’m working toward. He makes me feel like, even though I fucked up my life for the last ten years, that it’s okay, it was just a bump in the road that was all leading to this new chapter.”
“That’s not true.” I hold up my hand. “I just like to know what she thinks before telling her what I—” She side-eyes me. “I’ll stop talking now.”
“Oh my God,” her mother gasps, “you—” She points to me and I don’t know if it’s a good point or a bad point. “You’re the K.” She looks at Lexi. “That frame in your house. The dare.” She puts both hands on her mouth. “He’s the one.”
“He is,” Lexi confirms. “He’s the reason I?—”
“No,” I cut her off, “that’s not true. You are the reason you made that phone call. You are the reason you got out of the situation. It was you and your strength; it had nothing to do with me. Do not sell yourself short.”
“Oh my,” her mother says.
Lexi looks up at me. “I dare you to shut up right now.” She chuckles before turning back to her parents. “By the way, that’s my mother, Zoe,” she says, “no Y.”
I extend a hand to her. “It’s a pleasure to meet you, Mrs. Petrov.”
She immediately extends her hand to mine. “Kirby,” she says my name, “the pleasure is all mine.”
I’m about to say something when Matty comes into the room, followed by Matthew Grant and Max Horton, who to this day is still a beast. “Oh fuck,” Matty swears, “did not think I would see you here.”
“Got a call”—I look down at Lexi—“and an invitation I couldn’t refuse.”
“That’s nice,” Matty says, and I can tell by his tone he’s not interested in small talk. “Mom, Lexi, I need to have a word with Dad and this guy.” He motions with his chin toward me.
