“I won’t be anything without him.” I feel like I’m in a trance. “But I don’t want to be with him. I’ll be nothing, but I’ll be without him.”
“I’m going to be there in five hours, in five hours.”
“Okay.”
“Can you wait in the house or do you want to go to a hotel?” I lie down on the floor in my room.
The card in one hand, the phone in the other as I just stare out. “Okay.”
“Lexi,” he says my name, “I’m going to hang up on you now, and I’ll call you back.”
“Okay, Daddy,” I reply and then he waits for me to say something. “I love you, Daddy.”
“I love you too, angel”—I can hear the softness of his voice—“more than my life.”
“I’m sorry.” I close my eyes. “I’m so sorry I wasn’t strong like you taught me to be.”
“I’m coming. I want you to do something for me. Can you do something for me?”
“Yeah,” I say, not sure I can even move.
“I need you to lock the door of your bedroom and not open it until I get there.”
“He’s not coming home,” I tell him.
“I’m coming. I promise you I’m coming.” I nod my head. “I’ll call you back.”
“Okay.” He hangs up as I close my eyes. He calls me back every single thirty minutes to check on me, and I vow each time I’ll get up and change. But I just close my eyes and drift off to sleep.
The pounding makes me open my eyes, and I look around the room before getting up on my side. “Lexi.” I hear his voice and then I get up, walking toward the front door. I unlock it, and when I pull it open, I’m in his arms. “Lexi.” He breathes me in. “I’m here.”
“Daddy,” I cry just like I did when I fell off the bike the first time I rode on two wheels. Just like when I busted open my chin skating and he took me in his arms, protecting me the whole time.
“Lexi,” I hear softly and then look over to see my mother standing there. She’s wearing jeans and a white top, a baseball hat on her head. “Lexi.” She brings her hand to her mouth and I can see she’s shaking.
“Why don’t we get her in the living room where there is more space and talk?” My uncle Matthew puts his arm around her shoulders. My mother nods as my father carries me into the living room. I almost turn around and tell them to take off their shoes, but I just shake my head as he guides me to the living room and sets me on the couch. My mother and Matthew sit in front of us. “Okay, talk,” Matthew demands and I can see his jaw is tight as he looks around and then back at me.
“Matthew,” my father warns tightly.
“Lexi,” my mother urges, “we need to get you out of that dress and get your clothes packed.” She stands up. “Then we are taking you away from here and the hold he has on you.”
She holds out her hand. “Come and choose what you want to take with you.” I put my hand in hers and we slowly walk to the bedroom.
“Mom,” I say softly as she unzips the dress, “I should have been stronger, like you.”
“My beautiful girl.” She puts one hand to her stomach and I see that she’s about to completely lose it. “You are not strong like me. You are stronger than me. Picking up that phone and making that phone call you are in a category of your own. Don’t you dare,” she snaps and grabs ahold of my face. “Don’t you dare let him have one more fucking minute of you.” Her tears roll down her face. “Now, my beautiful girl”—she smiles—“let’s get you packed.”
I nod my head and look at her. “Do you think I’ll be okay without him?”
“I think you’ll thrive without him,” she assures me, going over and grabbing one of my suitcases. “I think he’s the one who isn’t going to be okay without you.”
“But he’s a doctor,” I retort and I giggle at the stupidity of it as she laughs with me. “He told me so many things, Mom,” I say as I slip on a pair of yoga pants. “He made me believe so many things.”
“Viktor!” my mother shouts his name as I slip a T-shirt over myself and he comes jogging into the room.
“I need those boxes we just hang the clothes in,” she says, then looks at my uncle Matthew. “I need you to pack her office.”
“It’s four thirty in the morning,” my father replies. “Where do you want me to get those types of things?”
