“So, prior tofinding Farah in your trunk on board this ship, you didn’t have any—relationship with her?”
Rockwell wondered what was behind such a question and he didn’t like how it made him feel. The thought of Farah having an alternative to him if the scandal came out made him happy,but the idea of Lucien—or any man—being intimate with Farah enraged him.
“Other than as my sister’s friend, no.”
“May I ask why she is not marrying you, since this trip thoroughly comprised her?”
Lucien’s tone told him he better have offered. “She doesn’t want to marry me.”
“What did you do?” Lucien growled. “She’s a sensible woman. She must see that she has no choice.”
Rockwell wished he knew the answer. Surely, it couldn’t be that she would risk a scandal just for something called love? He thought back to Tiffany and Wolf’s wedding and understood that real love existed. Maybe he was just too selfish to let it in. “She knows that a wife of an adventurer is a lonely one. I’m not great husband material.”
Lucien sipped his coffee as they sat around the stateroom dining table. “And a man with little to offer in terms of financial security, with no memory of his previous life, is probably no better option.”
Bloody hell, Lucien was serious about his offer. Rockwell’s stomach clenched. He should be happy that his best friend found a woman he felt comfortable with, given his family’s financial situation, but his brain revolted at the idea. Rockwell had the winning strategy. “Lady Courtney is still technically your fiancée, since you were never married. How are you going to approach that?”
“A part of me hopes that when I see her, it might spark a memory. But having met you, and knowing how close we were as friends, I won’t get my hopes up.”
“But it doesn’t mean you can’t start over?”
Lucien paused with his coffee cup partway to his mouth. “But, like you, is it fair to Lady Courtney? I’m not the same man.”
“Shouldn’t that be her decision?” Rockwell shrugged. “Besides, I think fundamentally you are the same man. You are honest, kind, loyal. You’re already focused on helping your family. I think Lady Courtney will see a lot of her fiancé in you.”
Lucien fiddled with his cup. “But I can’t force feelings and—I like—Farah.”
Rockwell stilled his features, trying not to give anything away. “You have one major problem.” At Lucien’s raised eyebrow, he said, “She is Lady Courtney’s best friend and she won’t do anything that might hurt Courtney.”
Lucien said nothing. He simply sat there drinking his coffee. Finally, he muttered, “One’s brain rarely rules the heart.”
What the hell did that mean? Was he saying he still wanted to pursue Farah? Rockwell inwardly smiled. Of all the men in England who might court Farah, he didn’t fear Lucien. Farah would do nothing to hurt Courtney, and Lucien could try all he liked. Farah would never be Lucien’s wife.
But someonewouldmarry Farah, and he wondered if he could stand that?
“I think you should wait to meet Lady Courtney. It is the honorable thing to do, given that she is still technically your fiancée.”
“But you and Lady Farah agreed to keep the fact I never married Ava a secret.”
Rockwell sighed. “I had forgotten that point.”
“Is this sudden desire to point me towards a lady I previously knew instead of aiding Farah because you have feelings for Farah?”
He had feelings. If he were a selfish bastard, he’d claim her and leave her sitting at home with his children. “No.” He stood up and moved round the table and placed a hand on Lucien’s shoulder. “I’m saying this because I know Farah very well. If you go down this road, she will rebuff you. If you don’t understandwhy, you don’t understand Farah and you will only cause her and Courtney pain. I don’t think you want to do that.”
With that, he left to go back on deck, leaving Lucien to his thoughts.
As he stepped foot on deck, he almost knocked over Ava-Marie. He swung her into arms just as Caitria came running up. “Sorry, we are playing tag.” Farah came puffing behind.
Rockwell tickled Ava-Marie under the chin. “Just be careful running around the deck. We don’t want any accidents.”
“We are about to go below for lunch and an afternoon sleep.” Farah looked over her shoulder. “The coast is nearby. I assume we’ll dock tonight.”
“Yes. It will take that long given we have no wind. We need the tide to help take the ship in.”
“Will we be sleeping on the ship tonight?”
“Yes. We’ll leave by carriage in the morning once we’ve arranged everything.”
