Rupert closed his eyes, aware of just how much he wanted this. “I cannot tell you when the threat will be gone from me,”he said, sorrowfully. “I cannot hold you back from your future, Eleanor. There will be other gentlemen – better gentlemen than I – who seek to court you, seek to wed you.” Those words struck pain against Rupert’s heart, but he continued regardless. “I will not hold you to a promise that might never be fulfilled.”
Her eyes closed tightly. “My father has insisted that I find a match this Season,” she said, her voice near a whisper now. “But there is none that I want but you.”
Rupert could not find any words to say, looking down at her and remembering all the times that he had swept her up into his arms, held her close, and kissed her lips. He recalled how they had walked through the woods, arm in arm, laughing and talking and sharing all manner of things – those had been precious moments indeed! “I want the same but I am honorable enough to know that I cannot promise you a happy future, Eleanor. If this threat continues, if it becomes known, then I can assure you that your father will not permit you to come anywhere near me! And what then? You cannot keep back from a contented future because of a hope.”
She swallowed and looked down, a tear splashing to her cheek. “If my father had not insisted that I find a suitable match, then I would not feel such pressure upon my shoulders,” she said, as Rupert’s heart tore. He wanted to say the opposite of what had been spoken, wanted to state that yes, he would do anything he could to make her his bride… but he could not. Given what he was facing, Rupert knew he might well face ruination himself, and he could not let that encompass Eleanor also.
“But all the same, if there is even a single flicker of hope, then can we not face this difficulty together?” With a sniff, Lady Eleanor lifted her chin and looked straight into his eyes. “Yes, it may come to naught, but at least then we will both know that we did all we could to find a way through.”
Letting out a long and slow breath, Rupert found himself nodding despite his heart and mind warning him that he should not. “I cannot pretend that I do not hold such a hope within my heart,” he admitted. “Albeit a small one.”
“Then will you tell me?” she asked, as Rupert let out a sigh, his breath catching in his chest as he weighed up what was the right thing to do. He could either tell her all in detail or give her only a vague explanation about what had occurred. Hehadto keep her safe, had to make sure she was protected, but at the same time, had to permit her to come alongside him and be a support to him.
“Very well,” he said, just as Lady Eleanor’s maid coughed loudly, making Lady Eleanor stumble back. Rupert turned his back quickly, reaching for a book as Lady Eleanor hurried to the other side of the room, looking absently up at shelves filled with books.
“Ah, there you are, Lady Eleanor. Lady Catherine is eager to take her leave, and I said I would come in search of you.”
Rupert’s stomach clenched as he turned his head to see a gentleman he did not know offering his arm to Lady Eleanor.
“But of course.” Lady Eleanor’s voice was higher-pitched than usual, and whilst she smiled at the gentleman, there was no warmth in it. “Thank you, Lord Ashworth.”
Ashworth.Rupert knew the name, recognizing him as a gentleman of thetonwith both a high title and good standing, as well as the gentleman who had claimed Lady Eleanor’s waltz the previous evening. With a knot in his stomach, he turned his head away, staring blankly down at the book now in his hand.
She may marry someone else yet,he told himself, trying to push the idea into his mind and find himself contented with it.In fact, despite your attempts to get to the truth about who is sending such threats, she may find herself wed to LordAshworth. Somehow, I shall have to find a way for my heart to be contented with that.
11
“It is most unorthodox, I know.” Eleanor smiled at her cousin as the carriage rolled on. “Thank you for joining me.”
Catherine bit her lip. “I do think that I ought to have told Mama.”
“I can understand that.” Looking out of the carriage window, Eleanor clasped her hands in her lap, feeling nervousness working its way up from her core. “I was afraid she would forbid me from calling upon Lord Finchley, given that a lady does not do such a thing with any sort of frequency.”
Her cousin looked down at her lap. “I do want you to be happy, Eleanor. I trust that this meeting will bring you towards that.”
Eleanor, who had explained to her cousin all that had taken place thus far, taking her entirely into her trust, lifted her shoulders in a small shrug. “I cannot say what the outcome is going to be.” She offered Catherine another reassuring smile. “But you will be there to hear it and to advise me thereafter. If you think it best, we can tell Lady Cumbria of it all also.”
This brought a flash of relief to Lady Catherine’s face. “Thank you, Eleanor. That is good for me to hear.” Her smile returned. “I must hope that, one day, I will have the very same love as you share with Lord Finchley. It is clear to me that it has taken over every part of you, that there is a longing within your heart that can only be satisfied by him.”
“And yet,” Eleanor answered, her voice catching, “there is still the chance that we will not find ourselves happy. If this threat – whatever it is – cannot be removed, and removed soon, then I will find myself being courted by another, with no way of stepping back.”
Catherine’s brow furrowed. “Do you mean to say that Lord Ashworth would court you instead?”
“If my father insists, then I shall have no choice,” Eleanor replied, tears beginning to push themselves to the corners of her eyes. “That is why I pray now that, whatever this difficulty is, there will be an easy solution that will bring an end to it all very swiftly indeed. Else, I fear, I shall lose Lord Finchley and his love forever.”
“Thank you for coming.”Lord Finchley cleared his throat, rubbing the back of his neck as he sat down. “I know this is most unorthodox, but I could not come to call myself for fear that we would be overheard.”
Eleanor nodded. “I quite understand.”
“I have asked my brother to join us, as you see.” Lord Finchley gestured to Lord Preston, who, Eleanor noticed, was smiling warmly at Catherine. “He is aware of what has taken place both in the past and now, in the present.” He glanced at Eleanor and then looked to Catherine. “Lady Catherine, has Lady Eleanor explained anything to you?”
Catherine shook her head no.
“Then let me briefly explain,” Lord Finchley said, casting a grateful look toward Eleanor, which she accepted with a smile. “My sister is wed to an excellent gentleman and they have one child with them.” Clearing his throat for the second time, he looked away. “The child is illegitimate.”
“Oh.” Catherine’s eyes grew wide. “I am sorry. This must be very difficult for you all.”
Eleanor held Lord Finchley’s gaze. “This threat you speak of,” she said slowly, seeing the lines that drew themselves across his forehead, “Is it to do with your sister?”
