“No….” Jamie shot out of the room, disbelief clouding her as she shoved past the others. “No fucking way!”
“Jamie?”
“Miss?”
She reached the front doors and threw one open, stepping out into the sunlight without regard for the oncoming steps. She somehow managed not to plummet down the stairs leading to the beige brick walkway. She also somehow managed not to scream when she saw what came down the long driveway that carved throughthe trees.
“I haven’t seen one of those in twenty years.”
“I thought they all died out?”
“We are clearly losing our minds.”
Jamie knew there were people still standing behind her, but all she could concentrate on was the Volkswagen van careening down the driveway. The closer it got, the more she made out flower motifs, peace signs, and a swinging Buddha hanging from the front mirror.
And two very middle-aged hippies waving at her through the window.
“Uh…” Etta leaped back up the stairs when the van swung around the front fountain, kicking up dust and sending it over a line of neatly trimmed hedges. “Dare I ask?”
“Ask what?” Jamie could barely breathe.
“Ask if you know who this is?”
The engine shut off. Through a cloud of dust, two doors opened, and soon enough, people barreled through the cloud and tackled Jamie right off her feet and into another man’s arms.Arms she hadn’t felt wrapped this tightly around her since she was a little girl.
“Jamie!” they both cried, one pulling on her hair and the other patting her shoulder. “It’s so good to see you! How are you, honey?”
She nearly suffocated on their body odor and patchouli oil in their hair. “I’m… fine… what are you doing here?”
They released her, but not before the man descended upon Etta and clapped her on the shoulder. Etta was not a woman who showed fear in front of others, but she was visibly shaken, and Harris had pulled out his phone as if about to call the police.
“You must be Etta!” the man wearing corduroy pants and a peasant top exclaimed. “Let me get a look at the woman my little Jamie thinks she’s marrying!” He frowned. “Unless that’s Etta back there.” He pointed to Harris. “Not bad, not bad…”
“Someone want to tell me what’s going on?” Etta asked.
Jamie buried her face in her hands. “These are my parents.” She tried to remain calm. Really, really tried. “Trust me, they didn’t tell me they were coming.”
“We wanted to surprise you, honey!” Luna flung her long, gray braids over her shoulder and brought Jamie in for another hug. “I told you we were granted leave from the farm! Well, we’re here until the wedding!”
Until the wedding…
Which was over two months away…
“I…”
“Is this the gorgeous young woman?” Beaming like the sun shining overhead, Luna went to Etta and put two hands on her arms. “Etta, right? My daughter has exceptional tastes.”
“Mom.” Jamie spun around, ignoring her father as he scooped her up into another hug. “You’ve been here five minutes. How about you not hit on my fiancée?”
“Fiancée! Such a fancy title for a fancy woman!”
“Well… we have guests…” Beatrice pushed her way back into the house, probably en route to the nearest guest room to prepare it for the Joys. “Where did I put the vacuum…?”
Harris was left to organize this sudden intrusion. Etta tried to escape back into the house more than once, but between Luna and Saul, Jamie’s father, there was no getting away from her future in-laws. Jamie felt like she was watching lions descend upon a kill. Luna put her hands all over Etta’s chest while Saul insisted on feeling the poor woman’s biceps, to make sure she was “strong enough” to take care of his little girl. “The woman is stronger than she looks!” Saul cried to his wife. “Can’t believe it! Not bad for a suit.”
Oh. A suit.
That’s right.
