“Jamie.” Etta steadied them both with deft hands. Color returnedto her face.Good. Here came the woman Jamie depended on being the problem solver. The woman who almost single-handedly built a billion-dollar business from nothing. If she couldn’t make sense of this, then nobody could. “Have you been to the doctor? Have you had tests?”
“No, but…”
“Then there’s no sense in panicking about it right now.”
“I check so many boxes! And it’s not a virus! I took a test for that! Remember how I got sick again, but you didn’t? The doctor was asking me all sorts of questions… I looked them up… Etta, it’s what doctors ask if they think you havecancer!”
“But did he say the C word? Did he book you an appointment at the clinic to get tests done? Even behind my back?”
It wasn’t an accusation she was getting. It was thenthdegree about her body. From the one woman who knew it inside and out – daresay better than Jamie’s gyno.
“No… none of that. But I’ve also been super woozy all the time. And I’m sore and tender all over. This isn’t like PMS. This is something totally new to me. My body is changing. I can’t stop it. I can’t control it. Everything is pointing to something being really wrong with me! I swear I’m not making it up!”
“Of course you’re not making it up! Why the hell would you? That’s not you!”
Jamie gasped, unprepared for this side of Etta after all. “I’m sorry…”
“What are you apologizing for?” Etta’s voice softened. She also lessened the pressure on Jamie’s arms. “You didn’t do anything wrong.” She interrupted her girlfriend’s next outburst. “No, Jamie, look. I’m going to get you to the doctor ASAP. This next week if they can fit us in. You’re going to get an expert’s opinion, and I’m going to…”
Jamie couldn’t help but laugh. “Donate a billion dollars tocancer research?”
“Whatever I have to do.”
Jamie’s laughter intensified. “You’re going to hunt for a cure while a stranger is all up in my business.”
“What’s funny about that?”
“I have no idea, but it’s better than the alternative!”
“I suppose…” Etta’s hands bunched into two fists. “If you have cancer… no, we can’t think like that.”
“What do you mean?”
“I mean let’s not set our minds on anything until we get official word from the doctor.”
She didn’t like Etta’s tone. “Are you angry?” she asked.
“Why would I beangry?” Etta linked her arms around Jamie’s waist, bringing them chest to chest. “If I appear angry about anything, it has nothing to do with you. It’s just… you know.”
“You’re mad about it. You can say you’re not, but I can sense it.”
“Some crazy news, huh?” Etta’s voice and the movements of her mouth vibrated through Jamie’s midsection. “No matter what, Jamie, I’m with you. Am I scared? Yes. Am I hopeful this is all in your head, even by mistake?Yes.But I’m here. I’m not going anywhere. If it’s the worst news in the world, then we’ll figure it out.”
“You promise?”
“If I’m angry, it’s because I’m stressed, and this would add to it. I won’t lie about that.”
“Of course.” Jamie knew that. The last thing Etta needed right now was the stress of her girlfriend dealing with one of the worst ailments in the world. “You’re right, though. Let’s not freak out until the doctor tells us to.”
“That’s not quite what I said.”
Jamie threaded her fingers through Etta’s hair. There was something comforting about it. “That’s what I interpreted.”
“I know.”
Jamie embraced her, feeling Etta’s body, her heartbeat next to hers. “You’ll take care of me, right? No matter what happens, I need to know you’re with me, Etta.” She sucked back more tears. “I love you.”
“I love you, too.” Etta rubbed her back, those strong hands protecting her and whatever else may lie between them. “I’m with you. We’ll figure this out. I’m glad you told me.”
