But that was exactly what he was already demanding of me: my body in return for his silence. And I wasn’t stupid enough to think this would simply be a one-time event. No, Kay had me exactly where he wanted me, and he would exhaust that power imbalance for as long as he could.
I couldn’t be at Kay’s mercy.
Because there wouldn’t be any.
My footsteps echoed, quick and uneven, as I moved from wall to wall. The moonlight caught the white scars on my knuckles—ghosts of every lie I’d lived as Sir Lioran.
The chamber offered no comfort. My armor loomed in the corner like a silent accusation, its polished surface throwing back a warped reflection—a woman buried beneath a knight’s lie.
“Damn him,” I whispered, my voice cracking. “Damn Kay to hell.”
He’d always watched me too closely. Today, that smirk—the one he’d worn when he’d cornered me in the corridor—said everything.
It was too dangerous for me to remain here in Camelot. Now that Kay and Elenora knew the truth (and gods only knew who else did as well), it was just a matter of time before the rest of the court became aware of the spy in their midst.
I pressed my palms to my temples, trying to quiet the chaos of my thoughts. Months of planning, Merlin’s training, everything I’d sacrificed—now teetering because I’d underestimated the one knight who had proved to be my biggest enemy: Arthur’s foster brother.
You can’t remain here, Guin,I told myself again.The illusion you’ve crafted is unraveling too fast.
Yes, and I refuse to let it snap in his grip.
I stepped toward the water basin, my hands trembling as they gripped the carved stone edge. Moonlight pooled in the water, turning it silver—still, reflective, waiting. A breath hitched in my chest as I reached inward, toward that tether that stretched between worlds.
Magic stirred, ancient and unwelcome, prickling beneath my skin. The water warmed under my touch, ripples blooming in perfect rings. The mirror opened as soon as I said the magical words.
“Merlin.”
Not father.Neverfather.
“Are you there? Can you hear me?”
The water shimmered, then shaped itself into his face—those storm-gray eyes sharpening as he took me in.
“What troubles you, Guinevere?”
“I can’t remain here in Camelot,” I said, shaking my head as panic resurrected itself in my gut. “Kay found me out.”
Merlin’s expression darkened. “What does he know?”
I hesitated. “He knows I’m a woman.”
“How?”
I told him—reminded him of how Kay had cut me while we were training, how he'd taken my blood and brought it to someone with magical skill. Someone who had confirmed what Kay suspected.
“Mordred,” Merlin said, his voice low and certain.
“Then you think Mordred knows Lioran is a woman too?” My stomach began to twist.
Merlin shook his head. “No. If Mordred knew, Arthur would know.” He paused. “I assume, since you’re contacting me from your chamber, Arthur hasn’t yet been informed?”
I shook my head. “Not yet. Kay told me he hasn't told anyone else and that he will keep my secret for as long as I do what he wants."
Merlin nodded and remained quiet for a few seconds as his fingers drummed against something out of sight. A sapphire ring pulsed faintly on his other hand. “I would believe him. One thing Kay is not is a liar.”
“He’s using my secret as leverage. He told me as much.”
Merlin’s gaze sharpened. “Explain.”
