“Kay admitted to not caring for Arthur. That’s why he hasn’t exposed me yet."
"He has never had any love for Arthur. Regardless, he's after something."
"Yes."
I couldn't bring myself to tell Merlin—my father—that the very thing Kay wanted was my body. It just… felt wrong somehow. Maybe it was just too personal—a detail I didn't want to reveal. And I was afraid that even if Merlin knew Kay wanted me in a carnal way, he wouldn't care. He'd tell me to give Kay whatever he wanted—that my mission was more important than my self-respect. And that was something I couldn't hear—not from my father.
A long silence fell between us, heavy and unspoken. The water’s surface trembled with my breath, distorting Merlin’s reflection until his features looked like they were sinking. His eyes, always sharp, seemed to study me through the ripples.
Finally, he spoke. “That has always been Kay’s nature. Living in shadows, bitter about the throne he’ll never touch.”
"Yes."
“What exactlydoeshe know? Tell me the extent.”
I took a breath. “Just that I’m a woman."
"Nothing more?"
I nodded. "Nothing more. He doesn't know my reasons for being here."
"He must have asked about your reasons?"
"He did."
"And what did you tell him?"
"That I wanted only to serve my king with my magic."
Merlin nodded. "Very good. You always were able to think quickly on your feet."
I didn't want his praise, and he must have seen as much in the expression on my face because he didn't allow me to respond. Instead, he took a breath.
“We still hold the upper hand, Guinevere."
"How can you say that? I'm one step away from being revealed as a spy!"
"Only if Kay tells Arthur. But knowing him as I do and his motivations, he will not tell Arthur. Not until the time is right, if ever. No, Kay would rather use this knowledge against Arthur—use it to better himself and his standing in Camelot."
"That is a big assumption. Impersonating a knight in Arthur’s court is treason, Merlin. Kay could destroy me with one sentence.”
“Yes, he could. And yet, he has not." Merlin’s jaw clenched. “He’s calculating. Waiting. Thus, for the time being, you are safe.”
“Safe?” I repeated, cutting him off, my voice sharp. “Kay’s holding a blade to my throat. I'm as far from safe as it's possible to be!” I stepped back from the basin, trembling. “Ican'tstay here any longer. Don’t you see that?”
“You’re safe as long as Kay keeps your secret,” Merlin insisted, shaking his head. “And Kay, as I once knew him, can hoard a secret like gold. For years, if need be.”
“But at what cost? I'd be Kay's pawn,” I snapped, amazed that Merlin wasn't agreeing with me. Actually, I wasn't amazed.I was a weapon to Merlin, so of course, he would want me to remain here. He would tell me to stay for as long as the mission remained unfinished.
Remember what you swore to yourself!I thought.That you would forge your own way—that you wouldn't just be a pawn to Merlin.
What I stillcouldn’tsay, what I couldn't admit to my father, was that Kay hadn’t just threatened me. He’d claimed me. The memory made my skin crawl. Yet, I still couldn't force the words from my mouth. Because there was now a certainty within me: telling Merlin would only lead to something worse—his permission. And that was… it was something I couldn't face.
“If Kay’s hatred for Arthur runs as deep as I suspect,” Merlin continued, “he might even become an ally to you.”
I stared at him. “You thinkKaywould join us?”
“He might. It is true that Kay holds no love for Arthur—only bitterness and resentment. Perhaps even hatred." He sighed. "And if Kay knew the truth of your bloodline—what you represent—a rival to Arthur’s reign, he might see you as a way to the throne.”
