“Look…” I scratched my neck. “I’m going to my sister’s talent show tonight, and I just got home from deployment, like fifteen minutes ago. I need to sleep today, but maybe tonight you could come. Then we can talk about this again in the morning.”
She reached up on her toes and kissed my cheek. “Thank you, Derrick. That’s all I ask.”
41
I See
Derrick
My dockers and polo shirt had never felt so hot or itchy as they did that night when we walked into the school along with the throng of other parents and grandparents. Posters made out of butcher paper in primary colors hung on all the walls like advertisements for trailers might hang in a movie theater. Children in costumes were everywhere, and parents stopped for pictures next to the posters, cooing and praising as their cameras and phones clicked and flashed.
Jade was chill as ever. She watched the exciting scene with a condescending gaze, regarding one boy dressed up as a pirate who was in tears with a rather disdainful eye. We’d practiced her song at home a million times that day, and this seemed to have given her a sense of superiority which I might have laughed at, had she not been there to see.
But it wasn’t the stuffy air or the pressing crowd or even Jade’s part that made me jumpy. It was the face I dreaded but was sure to see. Because this was Jessie’s life. And unless she’d come down with a last-minute case of the plague, she was sure to be here tonight, front and center.
At least I had Amy.
“Hold on, hold on!” Amy stopped us. Then she grabbed Jade by the shoulder and dragged her over to the wall to stand beside a butcher paper cut-out of a ballerina. “Let me take your picture, sweetie!”
Jade scowled and marched back over to me, where she turned to glower up at me.
“Amy,” I said, trying to keep my voice down. The last thing I wanted to do was have Jessie see me trying to rein in my ex-fiancée because she was going to drive my sister insane. Not that I should care what Jessie thought of it all. But the whole thing was…well, a little embarrassing.
“Jade doesn’t like to be touched until she knows you,” I tried to explain as Amy muttered at her camera.
“But we know each other, don’t we, sweetie?” Her voice was loud and her words slow.
“Amy, you haven’t seen her in over a year. And she can hear you just fine.”
“I’ll take Jade to her classroom,” my mother said, stepping quickly between us. “You three go find seats in the cafeteria.”
My dad kissed Jade and wished her luck and then we turned to do as we were told. I hadn’t known it was possible, but without Jade, I felt even more exposed. At least with her along, I could divert the attention. If Jessie and I had been forced to talk, we would have at least had a subject on which to focus. But now it was just me.
“Should’ve gotten here sooner,” my dad said as we entered the cafeteria. Sure enough, the place was already crawling with people. It was hard to find even four seats together, but we did eventually find a space right up in the far front corner.
“This is so cute!” Amy exclaimed, taking pictures of everything. “No wonder Jade loves it here so much.” Did she always yell everything she said? I searched my memories for how loudly she’d talked before we broke up.
My mom slipped in a few minutes later.
“Look at her.” She laughed as she held up her phone to show us the pictures she’d taken. “We got the costume to the room in one piece. She’s still got her tutu and leotard on, and she had the wand when I left at least. But she refused to take off the boots. Jessie finally said it wasn’t worth the fight and to let her wear them.”
My dad let out an uncharacteristic chuckle. “She must be excited. I can even see her dimple.”
I watched them for a moment, trying to remember the last time they’d made such a fuss over my sister. Honestly, I couldn’t remember, all except for her birthday parties and surgery days. This was nice.Please let it last, I prayed.
“She’s absolutely precious.” Amy beamed. “I can’t wait to see what she can do.”
The lights dimmed just then, thankfully, and my mom stuck her phone in her purse as music played over the speakers, which were conveniently three feet from our chairs. It didn’t stop until a man in a suit walked out onto the stage and began to talk about how someone years ago had thought up this talent show as a way to raise money for the school, and how it was a yearly tradition now, and how hard the kids had worked, and droned on and on until I was sure this evening couldn’t possibly get any longer. Then I saw a movement to my right and caught sight of that Newman guy. And he was talking to Jessie, but his eyes kept darting back to me and Amy.
I had been wrong. This evening could get far longer than I’d ever dreamed.
* * *
The show was about an hour long as student after student came up onto the stage and danced or did magic tricks or sang loud, more than slightly off-key songs to the speaker that must have been built to break people’s eardrums. Jessie didn’t seem to mind the noise, though. In fact, she seemed to thrive on it. She fairly danced in the corners of the stage, ushering children on and off with seamless ease. And there was Sam Newman, standing at her elbow the entire time, pointing to her clipboard and constantly making her nod with whatever he was whispering.
My stomach churned, and in an effort to not stare at them, I turned the screen light all the way down on my phone and started to play some mindless game with fruit and bubbles until my mom nudged me…hard, and gave me a dirty look, the same one she’d given me back when I was twelve and had threatened to bring a toad to church to play with during the sermon.
Rolling my eyes, I put the phone down. I was twenty-five, and that look still wasn’t completely ineffective.
