“I mean that you are clearly a pretty girl. Beautiful even, but I do not think you have yet achieved your full potential.” The Dowager Duchess stroked her chin, her eyes going distant.
“That is kind of you to say, your Grace.” Vivian forced herself not to fidget.
“It is not kindness but truth.” She rubbed her hands together, sharpness and cunning returning to her eyes. “I have a good eye for this sort of thing, and by the time I am finished with you, you would make even Aphrodite weep with jealousy.”
“High praise indeed, Your Grace, and though I appreciate your attention, it is really not necessary.” Vivian tried to smile, but it was hard as the vice around her chest seemed to tighten.
I do not want to be treated like a doll.
“It is. You are family now, and must look the part. Internal beauty is all well and good, but there is no harm in making sure the exterior is a reflection of the interior.” The Dowager Duchess arched an eyebrow at her. “Unless, of course, you doubt my skill? Henrietta, attend to me closely. I will show you how to style your mistress properly.”
“It has nothing to do with your abilities, your Grace, but—” Vivian began, but the Dowager Duchess cut her off.
“Call me Agatha, please, Grandmama if you wish.”
Agatha?Vivian swallowed. “Agatha. May I be frank?”
“I suppose we will have to find out.”
“I thought I left a rather poor impression upon you, and yet now you are asking me to call you by your name and offering to style me? Why?” Vivian met the woman’s gaze, her heart hammering wildly in her chest.
“Because I have no wish to spend time with someone who shirks away from their own light.” Agatha shrugged. “If you truly wish to remain as you are, I will not force change upon you. But go to the looking glass and tell me, is who you see truly who you are?”
Agatha gestured toward a looking glass, and Vivian moved to stand before it. She took in her reflection, her sharp features, and hazel eyes. She looked at the dress she was wearing and the dresses laid out on the bed in front of her.
The Dowager Duchess stood and moved behind her, gently resting a hand on Vivian’s shoulder. “Is this who you want to be?”
Vivian swallowed. Her head spun, and in Agatha’s words, she heard the echo of Thomas’s.
‘What do you actually want to do?’She had no idea what the answer was, no idea what she was supposed to say.
“When I look in my own mirror, I see myself. When I put on my makeup, my clothes, and style my hair, I am still me. But I am choosing the parts of me I wish to share with the world.” Agatha squeezed Vivian’s shoulder. “Beauty is a gift, and if you wish, I will show you how to share it.”
“But what if it is not my gift to share? I do not even know myself, much less what I wish to show to the world.” Vivian felt a lump form in her throat. “I have never once looked in a mirror and felt what you describe.”
“Would you like to?” Agatha turned Vivian to face her, a kind smile on her face that put Vivian’s heart at ease.
She nodded. “As long as it does not involve mouse fur, then yes.”
Vivian touched a hand to her eyebrows and shivered, remembering the way her mother had glued fur onto them to make them more fashionable.
“Mouse fur is only for fools and tarts.” Agatha sniffed. “We will start with your hair. Henrietta, you will watch me closely while I style your mistress. And then do as I do.”
“Yes, Your Grace.” Henrietta practically jogged to Vivian’s side.
Agatha’s hands were surprisingly gentle as she ran the comb through Vivian’s hair. There was a kindness in her touch that made a lump form in Vivian’s throat. “I had not thought someone of your station would have such skill with hair.”
“I have not always been a dowager duchess, Vivian.” She could hear the amusement in Agatha’s voice. “In fact, I was a lady’s maid when I met my first fiancé, and I have always enjoyed the styling of hair. Though very few people know that part of my story.”
Vivian swallowed, feeling warmth spread over her. “I thank you for sharing it with me.”
“You have beautiful hair and an elegant neck. You should show it off, like this, do you see?” Agatha continued a slight wistfulness in her voice as she demonstrated, , gently arranging Vivian’s hair in a way that made her chest ache. “Now, that is the kind of thing for a formal event, but for more casual things, you should let it be arranged like this. And for riding, you will want to tie it completely back, lest it obscure your vision. As marchioness, you will have a variety of roles to fill, but you must not let your life become ruled by duty alone. You must also follow your heart.”
“I am not sure I know how.” Vivian’s voice shook.
How many times had her mother dressed her? How often had she been told what to think, what to say, how to act? And what had that got her?
I was the one who found myself a husband. I made that happen.
