“Start by asking yourself what you want, and then do that.” Agatha shrugged.
“What if it upsets others?”
“In my experience, there is a great difference between harm and offence.” Agatha tsked. “Harm should be avoided, but offence? Well, when one lives as one chooses, one is bound to offend someone. The only way to avoid it is to live your life for others, and that is no way to live.”
How was it that this woman was paying more attention to her than her own parents were? That someone who was little more than a stranger seemed to want to understand her—no, wanted her to understand herself.
‘What do you actually want to do?’Thomas’s voice echoed in her mind. He had told her he would support her; he had shown her that he meant it.But he will not always be there.
After all, they would part ways in a few weeks. The thought made her heart squeeze.
“I think it is time that I learned what I want,” Vivian muttered.
Behind her, Agatha beamed.
Chapter Fourteen
“Are you sure you want to do this?” Thomas asked as he walked with Vivian to the edge of the lake.
It was the day after his grandmother’s ball, and much to Thomas’s frustration, Vivian had decided that she wanted to try fishing.
Of all things, why did she have to choose this?
Her hair was tied in a bun, and she wore a pretty blue dress Thomas had never seen before. There was something different about her that he could not quite place. She had been beautiful before, but there was something in her bearing.
It was as if she were more at home in her own skin. Thomas frowned, trying to make sense of it while also being prepared to catch her lest she slip on the mud and fall.
“For the last time, Thomas, yes. I definitely want to try fishing. Your cousin loves it, and it is a beautiful day. Look, the sun is shining.” Vivian pointed at the blue sky above them.
There was not a cloud in sight, and the sunlight was warm on their skin, despite the brisk breeze. Thomas glanced at the lake in front of them, at the small waves that the wind worked up.
He nodded toward it. “The lake will be freezing.”
“Then it is a good thing I do not plan on swimming in it.” She gave him a sweet smile that was all daggers and continued walking.
“It will involve a lot of waiting around.” Thomas fell into step beside her. “Hours of it, and that is if we are lucky.”
Vivian shrugged. “I can be patient.”
“It will be boring. You will not be able to read your book.” Thomas gestured to the book he had brought with him. “You will need to pay attention to the line.”
“I am sure I will find some way to amuse myself. I can always talk to your cousin.” Vivian gestured toward the dock where Dominic waited for them.
Thomas warned. “The fish might be strong.”
“I think I can handle it,” Vivian sighed.
Thomas pointed to the ground around them. “It will be muddy; you could ruin your shoes.”
“These are old anyway.” To his frustration, she remained completely undeterred. “You are the one who encouraged me to figure out what I want, Thomas. So that is what I am doing.”
I did say that, but why must she insist on doing something both boring and potentially dangerous?
Thomas gritted his teeth and clenched his fist. “You will note that neither Charlotte nor Andrea has joined us.”
“Just because they do not enjoy it does not mean I will not,” Vivian replied.
Thomas looked at the water dubiously, thinking of just how easy it would be for Vivian to fall in. “Are you sure you do not want to do something else?”
