Of course he made it out, I argue to myself. He taught me everything I know, andImade it out. So, of course he did, too.
“Do you feel any pull?” Kharon asks.
I shake my head. Then again, I don’t really have any clue what he’s talking about, so it’s easy to say no.
“We’ll go a little further.”
I hope it gets a little less creepy the longer we’re here. But the more we walk, the shadowy people parting to make way for us, the more all my hair stands on end.
“This is where you like to come to get away from things?” I whisper incredulously.
“I find it calming.”
I look at him like he’s nuts. But it’s true. While I feel tensed tight as a coiled spring, I can feel that Kharon’s muscles have gone loose beside me. Relaxed. And I realize he was way more tense in the sunny place. I shake my head and think,Huh. Maybe he’s way more screwed up than me if he finds this place a relaxing vacation from life’s stresses.
Just as I think that, I feel this odd tugging sensation in my chest from somewhere to the left.
My head swivels in that direction, and my fingers dig into Kharon’s bicep even harder.
“What?” he asks, so attuned to me.
“Nothing,” I say immediately.
But he’s not fooled. “It was something,” he says. “What did you feel?”
Tears come to my eyes as I feel it again. A tug in my chest from the left. Like an invisible string attached beneath my ribcage.
“Nothing,” I whisper desperately.
His voice is kind as he asks, “Where is this nothing coming from?”
A tear slides down my cheek as I point.
One of his hands slides down so that his fingers interlace with mine.
“Show me.”
I don’t say anything or even nod. I just start to walk, my throat choked up as I cling to his hand. The darkness seems to get thicker the deeper we walk into the open field. As if. . . as if we’re walkingintoa shadow. The lack of light here is tangible. It’s not frightening, and it’s not sad, not exactly.
It’s just. . . empty.
And so, so quiet.
There’s not even wind here. Sometimes the shadowy people clump together, and I wonder if it’s because they knew each other back—back in the physical world, if that’s even the right word. This whole place is so trippy. My head swings all around.
Then I finally see him?—
“Dad,” I cry out, letting go of Kharon’s hand to run toward a lone shadow standing by himself.
His back is to me, but I’d know my Dad anywhere. He stands so tall, his shoulders so broad, I was always sure he could carry all the weight of the world.
He doesn’t turn around at my voice, and I have to scurry around him to see his face.
And it’shim.
“Dad!” I throw my arms around him. Or try to. My arms move right through him like he’s mist, and a devastated noise comes from my throat.
His body reforms a moment later, and he barely even looks at me. His mouth moves a little, like he’s muttering without sound, and he sort of rocks back and forth.
