I loved the way he saw me. Loved the person I was in his eyes. “In that case, you should probably just believe me, then.”
“If only it were that easy. The Haywards have a team of people fightin’ for this. I’ve got Donovan and a social worker whohopefully has seen that we—” He cleared his throat. “That I love these kids enough to keep them.”
I ignored the pang in my heart when he stumbled over his words and cast me aside, leaving just him and the kids…a family of three I wouldn’t be a part of.
“Look, the Haywards are self-entitled pricks who haven’t even called to check in on their grandkids. Even though Seville is a stubborn jackass, I’d bet my lens collection on the fact that even he wouldn’t be willin’ to place those kids with someone who wouldn’t love them as much as you do. All ’cause of a grudge.”
“Your lens collection, huh? Shit, wifey, you really are confident, aren’t you?”
“Damn straight. And once he names you guardian, we… Well, you three will be able to be one happy little family.”
Asher stared up at me, his eyes flitting between mine as he studied me for long moments before he swallowed, his Adam’s apple bobbing. “And you’ll finally be able to leave Havenbrook. Again.”
They were the same words I’d said to myself dozens of times before. Had, in fact, said on every trip back home since the day I’d left.
So then, why did hearing them coming from him sit like a boulder in my stomach?
He reached up and brushed my hair back, running his thumb down the side of my face, his touch so gentle. So reverent. “I know how much you’ve given up to be here for me and for them. I’m never gonna be able to repay you for that, Nattie,” he said, his voice low and hoarse.
I swallowed down the sudden lump in my throat and pasted on a bright smile, while inside, it felt a little like I was dying. “That’s what friends are for, right?”
I laid down my head on his chest, my ear directly over his heart. I had no idea why it suddenly felt as if my insideswere being ripped to shreds, my heart pulverized. It wasn’t the thought of leaving Havenbrook. This town, though I’d grown to like it a hell of a lot more than I had at eighteen, was still just a town. I’d seen hundreds of them over the years. Knew I could find my place anywhere in the world.
But it wasn’t the geography I was so sad to leave. Wasn’t the Square or the townsfolk or even my family. It was the thought of leaving Asher and the kids I’d grown to love. The very idea filled me with a sense of dread, not knowing what I’d do when they were no longer a daily part of my life.
For hours, I lay there, listening to Asher’s steady breaths and the soft beat of his heart. All the while, one thought repeated like a broken record in my mind.
I hoped he asked me to stay.
CHAPTER THIRTY-TWO
ASHER
If I never stepped foot intoanother courtroom again as long as I lived, it would be too soon. The last time I’d been here had felt like a lifetime ago. Back when I’d been overwhelmed by grief and uncertainty over the future. Now, although the grief still swept over me in waves, it wasn’t the all-consuming tsunami it’d been in the beginning. The uncertainty, though… That was still weighing me down.
Before, I hadn’t known what the future would hold. Hadn’t known how to do any of this. Hadn’t known how to be the primary caregiver for two kids I’d only seen in small blinks of time.
Now, though, I knew Owen loved to rub my beard as I sang him to sleep. And though June fell asleep curled up in a ball, she woke upside down, sprawled in her bed. My nephew dreaded bath time, while my niece adored it so long as the tub was stacked a mile high with bubbles.
I’d kissed scraped knees, Googled home teething remedies, and even made a midnight drive to the twenty-four-hour pharmacy in Parkersville, all because of a fever of ninety-nine.
And through it all, Nat had held it together. Had kept our little family running, orbiting around her like she was the sun.
She’d certainly turned into mine.
Even though I couldn’t see her right now, I felt her behind me. Her solid presence supporting me, unequivocally. I knew, no matter the outcome, she’d be there to support me. Even if that meant that, whatever the result, she wouldn’t actually be by my side while she did so.
Judge Seville cleared his throat and looked down at me over the rims of his reading glasses. “As you know, in cases involving child custodial rights, I have to look at much more than just the wishes of the parents, though those certainly play a large role in my decision. However, that’s not the only piece of information I need to consider.”
I folded my hands on the table and closed my eyes, a thousand memories flipping through my mind. Teaching June how to hold a guitar. Pushing Owen in a swing for the first time. Nat taking June up into her old tree house, me and Owen watching from the ground as the two had played peekaboo through the window, sending Owen into a fit of giggles.
“I took into account the reports from the social worker, the information Mr. Donovan sent over regarding the contract Mr. McCoy has signed for the publishing house, as well as several character witnesses who spoke to me on behalf of both Mr. and Mrs. McCoy.”
Fuck, it was strange hearing Nat referred to that way. Worse was the fact that she wouldn’t be that for much longer. Whatever happened today, Nat no longer had to be my wife.
I pictured June’s and Owen’s smiling faces just that morning as they’d wrestled me to the floor, Nat’s laughter ringing in my ears as she’d pulled out her phone to take a picture of us. She’d beamed at me, her smile bright and her eyes shining with love. No matter the outcome of this hearing, that was what I’d take with me.
“Based on those things,” Judge Seville continued, “I believe it is in the best interest of June and Owen Hayward that they remain in the custody of Asher McCoy and his wife, Natalie.”
