I rested my hands on his chest and breathed him in, languishing in the slide of his tongue against mine, of his large hands cupping my ass and pulling me into him so I could feel how hard he was for me. How desperately he wanted me, too.
But before I could get lost in the haze of lust that seemed to engulf me whenever he was around, I needed more information about the gossip around town. Pressing against his chest, I broke away and pulled back.
“And what about what Edna said? That everyone’s suddenly titterin’ about what a great job I’m doin’. You wouldn’t know anything about that, would you?”
He gripped my hips, massaging them in a way that made me want to melt right there at his feet. He lifted a single shoulder.“I may have run into a few people when I was out today and mentioned how hard you’ve been workin’.”
I stared at him, trying desperately to take the gesture how he no doubt meant it—with only love. But I couldn’t stop the niggle in the back of my mind that said he wouldn’t have done this if he believed I could do it for myself.
The fact that I was suddenly receiving support from the townsfolk only thanks to Hudson’s prodding made me feel…unworthy.
I’d come up against nothing but roadblocks in the form of the good old boys—the physical manifestation of the goddamn patriarchy—whenever I’d tried to doanything, even sit in on a simple appointment. No one had time for me or my ideas. No one wanted to listen to a single word that came out of my mouth. And now, because the hometown hero said they should support and appreciate me, they suddenly did?
They were doing it forhim, not because they thought I deserved it. And certainly not because they thought I’d earned it.
Where I’d always been trying to be seen by my parents, by others in general, I’d never needed to do that with Hudson. It’d always felt like he’d seen me.
But if his actions today were any indication, he’d seen me, all right. And then decided I still wasn’t capable of handling it on my own.
That cut deepest of all.
I stepped out of his reach, crossing my arms over my chest as if that alone could act as my shield. “Why did you do that?”
He scratched his jaw, clearly not liking that I’d put space between us because he tried to close it again. “What do you mean?”
“Why’d you feel the need to talk to everyone in town and tell them how much they should support me?”
He furrowed his brow—at my question or my continual dodging of him, I wasn’t sure. “I wanted you to see what I see in you—how amazin’ you are and how much you’re doin’. How much value you bring to the town.”
I breathed out a disbelieving laugh. “It did the exact opposite of that! Now I’ll never know if they’re supportin’ me because they truly believe I’ve earned it, or if it’s simply because I’m a Haven and their favorite hero told ’em to.”
“No, that’s not?—”
I held up a hand to stop him. “The intention doesn’t matter, Hudson.”
Blowing out a resigned sigh, he scrubbed a hand down his face. “Fuck. You’re right. I’m sorry. I just got so damn frustrated listenin’ to you tell me about all the obstacles you were comin’ up against. It’s all bullshit—you know it as well as I do. I was just tryin’ to smooth your path a little. I didn’t mean to undermine you.”
“Well, you did. And then you’re gonna leave next week, and I’m still gonna be here, tryin’ to figure out how to get their respect when the guy who told ’em to give it to me is gone.”
He stepped up to me and cupped my neck, sliding his thumb along my jaw. “It doesn’t have to be like that.”
I stopped breathing. I wouldn’t be surprised if my heart stopped beating as well. At least right before it leaped into a gallop, racing so hard, he could probably see it through the layers I wore.
“Like what?” I asked, my throat tight with so much hope, it felt like a physical entity inside my body, desperate to spill out.
Was he going to stay? Was that why he hadn’t taken CB to the shelter yet? Why he’d been doing so many renovations on the cabin? Why he’d started something with me when we only had weeks together?
Was it because he’d known he’d be staying a lot longer than weeks? That, this time, it’d be forever?
He bent his knees until we were eye level. “I want you to come with me, Kenna.”
CHAPTER THIRTY-SIX
HUDSON
I’d done it.I had finally said the words that had been creeping under my skin for almost the entirety of my trip home. I wanted to be with Kenna.Neededit as much as a starving man needed sustenance. And the only way I could see that happening was for her to join me.
I was only ten years into my career in the army, and the plan was to do the full twenty my dad never had the opportunity to complete, cut short by his untimely death.
